Well it is New Years Eve, so it is a good time to reflect on 2008. Ironically, or in a twisted hand of fate for me last New Years Eve we were in knee deep of snow, and today it is 65' sunny and breezy down here in Hilton Head, SC which is not so bad.

What will 2009 bring? We have no idea where we will be living, or what will happen with my job hunt, the country has a new President and we must wonder what he will bring to the United States? Is the economy going to bounce back, are we going to have another terrorists attack on US Soil? Think about it, in Bush's first year in office 9/11 happened, what is next in store of us?

Personally, I want the right job in the right place, at the moment I am getting excited by one of my prospects but am superstitious and do not want to talk about it, in case it goes away. The husband is working very hard to get his business off the ground, it would be great if I could get a position that allows him to work on it and not have to get a job outside of the home.

2008 Big stories: First African American President Obama was elected in November 2008 after such a nasty election season from both sides..
Governor of Illinois tried to sell the Senate seat that Obama vacated gets caught and then does not want to resign, basically why should he right? Supposedly, Jesse Jackson Jr. was caught in this scandal did he or didn't he? Unfortunately, the public does not always want the truth and he still could be tainted by the scandal later on down the line.

I was upset by how vocal Oprah was for the candidate, due to the fact she had a built in following and voice to the public. Why was Sarah Palin never on her show? Sarah Palin may of come out of nowhere but it will be interesting to see what she does in the future... Tina Fey may have to come back to SNL again if she does run in 2012 talk about job security..

We lost Paul Newman this year, I remember watching, " The Sting" with my grandmother, she loved Paul Newman my heart goes out to his family, he was such a private man and I respected him and his charities so much.

Reality TV seemed to take over TV more so than anything else on the tube.

The Hills went off with a bang, but of course that is not the end of Spencer and Heidi haven't they had their 15 minutes of fame yet? Luckily, Whitney has her own show The City, she should watch out for the socialite, she is jealous of Whitney and wants Whitney's job and man Jay, luckily Jay realizes what she is, so the question is does Whitney?

Big Bang - Saw Penny kiss Leonard now what? How I met your mother: What will happen with Barney and Robin? *** Love Monday TV****

New Real World: Brooklyn now how long has this been on? I liked the first 3 seasons then I stopped watching,it is not real anymore now is it?

Real Housewives of Orange County: Vicki get a clue you are not the queen bee and why are you so judge mental? You came from the Midwest and made yourself over to a California girl, why Tamara and Lynn are actually from California, so why judge Lynn? I like her, she is what the show needed except for the fact she needs to own her age, if it is just a number why do you keep it a secret? Next week, we get to see Lori one of my favorites, I know why she left the show but I still liked her very much.

We saw the Real Housewives of Atlanta: These women were catty, and fun to watch, but do people really treat other people like that or was it for the cameras?

Project Runway: LOVE IT!! I do not care which channel it is on, I will watch it. I am sad to see Nina go but I will still watch it.

To be honest at the end of 2008 the best reality tv was Fox News vs. Main stream media.. Enough said...

Myself we moved to Maine, and now are stuff is in storage and we hit the road for 6 weeks, and have been in Hilton Head, SC trying to regroup and find where to next. We have nothing but what we could fit into the car, and food. I have been biking, and walking everyday and not drinking alcohol, and the husband is working or fishing it may sound boring but it is not spending any money, since we are paying our bills with what little we have coming in, but to be without anything Hilton Head is not a bad place to be, we are lucky for our families.

Both families have been very supportive, not money wise but otherwise and we appreciate them. I have learned in all this time of being without a job what is important, more than anything is friends and family. We may be many miles away but we are still in their hearts and their in ours.

2009 is another adventure, my husband and I are lucky to have found each other and willing to take the ups and downs of life together, I will always be grateful for finding my fit with him. We love adventure and the 6 weeks in the car were not easy for us, at the end we were at each others throats but deep down we knew we loved each other no matter what and we will get through anything.

So my only thing that I want for 2009 is to keep nurturing my relationship with my husband, family and friends because jobs will come and go, and life has many twists and turns it is how you handle them that determines your character. Are you a person to just wallow in self-pity are you one to pick yourself up and move forward to find what you need to make your life satisfying?

I wish everyone out there a Very Happy New Year, and Safe New Years Eve. We are having a nice dinner and if we can stay awake watch the ball drop in Times Square.. See you in 2009 thanks for reading...

Day 92 no job, I did have (2)phone interviews this week, one in Virginia Beach, VA and the other in Indinapolis, IN, both are good positions but they both have so many applicants, I am not sure I will be invited to participate in the next round of interviews.

The husband listened to my end of the conversations and believes I did well, but to be honest you never do know what they are looking for now do we? It is hard to come off a certain way when on the phone, so you are taking your chances and praying/hoping for the best.

It is almost a New Year, and I have no idea what 2009 will bring, due to we have no where to live, it will definately be and interesting year, full of ups/downs and surprises. I do not make New Years Resolutions way too easy to mess them up. I want to see what Obama does for the country, I may not have voted for the man, but I still want to see what he is going to do, and if my vote was right or wrong.

As I sit in Hilton Head, SC and see the weather reports from the North, I pray my family is fine and handling all the weather changes well, I know my mom wants to come down here for some sunshine again, we will wait and see.

Happy New Year...

Day 92: Yes, it has been 92 days since I had a job, and even though Hilton Head, SC is very nice, I really want/need a job. Yes, I will admit it defines who I am as a person, who contributes to society and our family.

I heard on the television news today, people talking about how many people they know who have lost their jobs and are trying to get back into the work force. I do not know the statics off the top of my head right now, but realize it is growing everyday.

I do have a phone interview today at noon for a position in Virginia Beach, VA area, and then I had someone else contact me from Indianapolis, where I have never been. I like the Virginia Beach position for many reasons, the most important being the fact it is on the East Coast. I will do both interviews and if one or both is offered then I will make my decision then. I am vrey excited that people are now calling, I always thought it would be next week, due to all the holidays will be over, so for me this is very exciting for me.

I admit, I used to say that about after the new year, but really was not so confidant. I know given a chance I can prove myself and these positions both look promising. I am not going to get my hopes up, so many people out there looking for work means more competetion for the prime positions.

The New Year is coming and I have no idea where we will be in the next year.

Merry Christmas!! It is Christmas Eve and I have been reflecting on my life and this year, more so due to being without a job it is Day 87!!

I saw and article in the New London Day today in regards to two women getting their purses stolen from their cars as they were at a restaurant. The police warning people of having their gifts visuable, it struck me as just sad but it is reality. I then remembered back in 2003 Christmas time, I was shopping at the Crystal Mall, and when I was putting the packages in the car, placed my purse on the ground and forgot it.

I went to meet my boyfriend (now husband) for dinner and it was going to be my treat, of course no purse we went back to the parking lot 10 minutes later and it was gone, I was in tears. Had dinner but can not tell you anything about it well, when I got home there was a message, from a stranger he pulled in to the spot after me with his kids and found my purse, he lived in Hope Valley, RI, I met him half way to pick it up. I will never forget how nice, understanding and sweet he was, nothing was taken and he was just being a good person.

Ever since then I try not to judge people and assume everyone is out to steal or take what is not theirs. The other day we were in Moe's Grill and the gentleman in front of me forgot his Credit Card on the counter, I picked it up and handed it back to him, he smiled and said, "thank you, I am a bit out of sorts" , I told him it happens. He was with 6 kids, and that can be overwhelming for anyone.

Just pass it on, especially at this time of year, people's minds are a million miles away and sometimes they just need a little help and kindness. I will miss my family Christmas Eve party this year, but I am very lucky, I have a strong marriage with a good man, my health ( a bit overweight) and a place to lay my head, I may have no job at the moment but my faith in everything working out is at the fore front of my mind. I have been thinking lately about faith and beliefs in what you can not see, well I believe Christmas is a time for miracles, and to remember what is important, not the gifts but being grateful for all you have.

So, I hope everyone has a Very Merry Christmas!!!

Well it is 3 days until Christmas, is everyone out there ready? The Elves up in the North Pole are finishing the last touches, and it looks like the Northeast and Midwest will be getting a "White Christmas".

It is day 85 for no job and I am feeling like the biggest failure in the world. We are doing fine right now, we are in Hilton Head, where today is a chilly 30-40', and sunny, by Christmas it is suppose to be back up to 78', that will not make it seem too christmassy for myself, but I am still in good spirits.

We finished our shopping back in October and have sent all the gifts out to the family. I have been riding the bike down here, it clears my head and makes me feel as if I am achieving something, what have no idea but it is making me feel better so that is good.

The Husband is working hard with his business, we are at the libary because the internet connection at the house is very slow... and this way I can use one at the same time and apply for work.

I hope everyone is ready for the holiday season....

Day 82; No job!! I feel so worthless without a job, and the fact other people are losing their jobs does not make me feel any better. I realize this is and awful time to be looking for work, but since I have been looking since September makes me feel more and more like a failure.

We are in Hilton Head,SC and today is 70' sunny and beautiful, the husband is on the phone with a client and then we are going for a walk, and then to do some errands, we really need to get rid of our garbage and bottles. Christmas is 6 days away and there is nothing in this house to make me feel like Christmas, the husband promised we could get a few decorations, I am thinking a palm tree with lights, due to there is no possibility of having a White Christmas here. My family up in New England and his in the Midwest are all having a white Christmas with ice thrown in for good measure.

We had finished all our shopping before I was laid off, so that is all taken care of and my mom will distribute them, the only one left is each other and my dad, we are thinking since we are down here, we will get a gift card to one of their restaurants they like down here, and for letting us stay at the house. I am worried if nothing breaks where will we go next? Personally if we are going to be homeless, we mine as well stay in the warm weather, maybe Florida.

We have decided to go to Savannah for New Years Eve, for a bit of fun. It is not that far from here, so we just have to be careful with driving and such. I have looked it up, there does not seem to be anything big planned down there, but for us it will be fine. We may change our minds if something good is happening here on the Island.

We are now going to walk and work out, the husband is determined to lose the 25lbs he gained while on our drive around the country, and I don't want to set myself up for failure but am going to work out too and whatever happens, happens.

I hope everyone is having a wonderful Christmas and New Years.

Day 76 no job: Today, I received an email from my Hyatt account that I should I apply for this position in Chicago, I have already applied for this position 2x and can not get anyone on the phone to actually help me. It is all down on computers and through email, it stinks, I would be perfect, and all I want is and interview, now that we know we want to center on Chicago or Milwaukee you think it would be easier to find a position, now that we have narrowed it down. NOPE!! Everyday on the news you hear about how bad it is and how the unemployment rate is the highest for 15 years and how many people have gotten laid off in the last month.

We are coming up on Christmas and the end of the year, so I of course am reflecting on the past year, and I still have unresolved issues around being laid off from Sebasco. Believe me, I know it had to be done and I was not the only one, it just hurts. I am having nightmares about the place, and what I should of done or could of done to make it better. I loved that property, and wanted to stay for awhile. I liked the fact we seemed to be a family/team and then I was let go out of the life raft.

My husband wants me to be more positive and not get down on myself, my self-confidence has taken a beating and now I have to get myself back up and find the right position for me, and go after it with all I have and not look back. It is easier said then done, but he is right. I have to stop beating myself up over something I can not change and move ahead.

I am going after this Hyatt position, if I don't get it at least I will know I have done everything I could, instead of sitting on the side lines waiting for them to notice me... Stayed Tune...

OH, we are in Hilton Head and the husband is sick, so he is laying down and I am working on the computer...

Let me just say, I love staying in Marriott hotels and mostly the Courtyards.
When we came across we stayed at the one in Cleveland Westlake, it was a basic Courtyard and everyone was so nice and helpful, it was snowing so bad and it was great to finally get into the room.

Then we stayed at the Residence Inn in Madison, the people were nice but the hotel needed a bit updating. Then the big one we staying downtown Chicago Courtyard, loved it!!!

They must of the top of the line beds, you could just melt into it, and the pillows, the lobby had a Starbucks, and a lounge area, it was a big city hotel. We felt like rock stars especially out our window overlooking Chicago. We did get right next to the Elevator, we realize it is because we are Friends/Family rates, and it really has been fine.

Last night, we stayed in the Courtyard in St. Louis, MO the lobby is wonderful, it has a lounge area with big comfy couches, the restaurant area has red chairs and the big round tables with your own personal tv. I was very impressed and thought great they will most likely have the same nice beds that Chicago had, NOPE!! The same as Cleveland Marriott, which believe me are nice, but once you have the top of the line it is hard to go back.

Tonight, we are staying in a Springhill in Nashville, TN. I worked for Marriott and so did my husband and hopefully I will get a position with a Marriott again, I love the way they treat their employees and give training because every stop, the people have made anything not going right seem better. Willing to go the extra mile for a client no matter what, quite impressed.

St. Louis is such a nice city, we are going site seeing this morning and then getting back in the car and heading out to Nashville, we are on each others nerves right now, so I am in the lobby working and he is upstairs on the computer, 24/7 very hard.

Stayed tune....

VIRGO (Aug. 23-Sept. 22): Decide if you are in the right spot geographically. There is something to be said about moving closer to work. 3 stars

This is my horoscope today, since today is Day 72 without a job, this cracks me up. Obviously, I need a job. We are trying to stay in the Midwest, either Milwaukee or Chicago, we believe it is time to live in a city and in a Loft. We are hitting the road again today, we are going to St. Louis, and then Nashville and then on to Hilton Head, SC, gosh it has to be warmer than where we have been don't you think? We will most likely see snow there because we are, so we are bringing it East with us.

I seriously thought something would break by now, but no, I am still looking for work, I realize after watching the news the economy stinks, and 6.7% unemployment rate is the highest in 15 years, but that does not make me feel any better. My husband and I are at each others throats, 24/7 for 6 weeks is awful, I would not recommend it to any relationship. I have to believe we will be fine, but it is so tough, luckily when we get to SC I can go outside for walks and down to the water to do my own thing while he does his work on the computer. I am really hoping that since Hilton Head is a big tourist area I can get work at one of the hotels down there. Even if it is just for a year until we can get to the Midwest, but we really want Chicago, Milwaukee and I know everyone keeps telling me make sure it is the right move, and the right position not to just take a job but the longer it is, the more nervous and scared I become. I do not even share that with the husband anymore, he is the most optimistic person I know when it comes to our lives working out.

Tune in to see what happens next.

OK, today I wanted to talk alittle about dating. When you do not get married until you are 40 years old for the first time, you have racked up more than a few dates in your life, and I admit I had rules for my dating life. This may sound funny, but for me,it just made sense.

I have had some bad dates in my life. One guy, proceeded to make me drive 2 hours, because supposedly his car was in the shop, come to find out nope he had too many DUI, that would of been a red flag. Then after driving those 2 hours, to a place I did not know he left me at the bar, but before that he had me use my cc to start a tab and racked up and $100.00 TAB.. He called me back a few days later and wanted to make it up to me, we went to dinner at the Griswold Inn, in Essex CT , where he worked so he did not pay for anything, then we went to play pool at the Monkey Bar, and he proceeded to tell me why I am still single. I almost hit him with my car leaving the parking lot.

Another date, showed up 30 minutes late, and tells me it was hard for him to get away from his wife..EXCUSE ME!! Your wife? That dated lasted only 40 minutes because he was 30 minutes late...

So, after these disastrous dates, I made myself some rules to follow. When my sister was divorced she did ask my advise on dating since she had been out of it so long...

RULES:

1. DO NOT DATE ANY MAN THAT IS MARRIED, EVEN IF HE SAYS HE IS SEPARATED, Find out if its true, if he lives in the same house, I do not care of the excuse big red flag NO..

2. Do not date any man that has been divorced for less than 2 years, do not believe since he was married once he is ready and able to commit, usually it means he wants to have some fun before making another commitment. ***I will break this rule, if it is an outstanding reason, but not likely ****

3. Check out the man's manners: Does he open doors for you, or get in the car first and say, oh its unlocked get in, does he pull out the chair for you, or not? This gives you and indication of what type of man.

4. Kids? This is really a judgement call, personally I did not date men but when you reach a certain age it is inevitable. Now, and ex-wife is one thing but with kids involved the ex-wife is still in the picture.

5. NEVER SLEEP WITH A MAN ON THE FIRST DATE!! This is basic common sense Ladies!!

6. NEVER GET DRUNK ON A DATE... It is tacky, and besides do you seriously want your potential mate to think you are a lush?

7. Do not talk about your past relationships for as long as possible. DO not say what an a**, Jerk or any other pejorative you can think of. Because that makes you sound "Crazy", and men do talk believe me.

8. If a man asks for your number and you do not want to give it to him, do not be rude, do not give him a wrong number just say, "No". If you give him a fake number and you see him again it could get nasty. Best to be upfront in the beginning.

9. Never pay on your first date, if he asks you it is implied he is to pay, on the other hand have the money on hand if the date takes a bad turn.

10. On blind dates, always have a back up plan. If possible make it a lunch date those don't last as long, or even just drinks ( Think Sleepless in Seattle)..

I did not have this list on my refrigerator, I just lived them to basically self perverse myself.

Last night, my friend Dacia and her new man came for dinner, she was so happy and he was wonderful, he has only been divorced alittle while, but I told him I would bend the rule for him, because she is so happy. I know it is against (2) of my rules, he has a 14 years old son, but these are only my rules they do not apply to everyone.

I met my husband, and was so excited neither of us has ever been married and no kids, we both had long term relationships in our past, but never marriage, we were engaged 5 months after we met. He did ask me on the first date to marry him, he we are about to celebrate our 4 year anniversary, so maybe the rules don't always work, but they did for me... Good luck ladies...

Yesterday, we spent the day in Milwaukee,WI what a wonderful city. I am going to look there for work, the husband would have a friend in Phil and myself in his girlfriend Ellen, two of the nicest people you ever want to meet. They also love their hometown, and know the history so it was so much fun to get a guided tour, instead of us just driving around trying to figure out what to look at.

I do still have Chicago, as my ideal place to land, and up until today there really was no positions, then this morning I saw a Director of Catering position at the Elysian hotel. It is a beautiful, luxury hotel/spa in downtown Chicago. Actually they have shops, salons and residences inside this hotel/spa. I love the smaller luxury hotels for myself, they always seem to me more personal. I love working hard and in these types of hotels you are not just a number you count. I admit, I am still upset about being laid off in Maine, but I am not the only one,I have heard even my Director of Sales was laid off. I have to keep telling myself it was nothing personal, just business was down.

I have applied and am trying to get a face to face interview before we leave the area on Monday, if we have to postpone for 1 day I would do that too. Chicago, would be wonderful for us, then my husband would be closer to his contacts in the Blogger world, and some of his clients. His family lives outside of Rockford, IL so we would be close to them too. I would miss my family terribly but this is my career and I truly believe I am ready for the challenge of a Director position, if anyone would just give me a chance.

Please see us on www.uttelri.com/stephenpics and leave a comment to let us know what you think of our travel log. We will be in Chicago on Saturday, and we did have a guest hosts of Phil and Ellen in Milwaukee, in front of Kopp's which was the model for Arnold's from Happy Days...

See where we are after Saturday.

I am sitting in the Cafe at Barnes and Noble in Milkwaukee, WI. I always love to just sit and observe what is going on, and here is so much fun.

First there was the two ladies sitting down and one the pretty perky one is the Life Coach to the short, somewhat squat woman who wants a man to "complete her", and the the LC says, why? Then she asks, well then why are you getting married? I could not hear the answer but do not think she was buying it, because her response was again, see you have found him...

The older couple learning Italian because they are going to Italy in a few months and want to be prepared, the father with his two daughters all dressed in pink, in my head I am calling them the pink family. Even the cookie he bought has pink sprinkles. The guy on his headset doing his work, instead of in his office.

Then we have the 40 year old + woman who is on the phone telling about her bad dates, awful men having affairs and such is her life to never find her own man. Even one man who expected her after 1 date to buy him tires for his car since he paid for dinner. The young couple on their first date, not going well, since she is applying lipstick and ignoring him.. Poor guy, does he realize he is not her soul mate?

My husband was working in the ride up here on the computer and then he needed another few hours so he came in here, and I sit and observe people, it is fun, to try to figure out what makes people tick, and what their lives encompass. There are only a few people in the cafe who are actually drinking coffee, the rest are socializing, I myself read my People magazine without buying it, and now we are off to meet his friends and have bought nothing. We have spent enough in this store to last us a lifetime.

We will do site seeing in the morning...

From the New London Day, my hometown has another fire of a beautiful old building. Luckily, no one died in this blaze. Another great job by the Norwich Fire Departments. It is so upsetting to me, to see another fire destroy a building I used to love, my hometown has such history, yes even though Benedict Arnold is from Norwich, CT I do love it..

My heart goes out to those people who are out of their homes and wish everyone well...


Norwich Fire Forces 30 From Their Homes
Central Avenue blaze injures one woman
By Katie Warchut Published on 12/1/2008

Norwich—A fire that tore apart a century-old Central Avenue building early Sunday morning forced more than 30 people from their homes, seriously injured one resident and briefly cut off power to approximately 5,000 city residents.

It also left Norwich Fire Chief Kenneth Scandariato to reflect on recent destructive fires in the city.

“There's too many damn close calls,” he said, in front of the charred, smoldering building Sunday morning in the sleet and rain.

One of those close calls took place in April when an early morning fire destroyed the 120-unit Peachtree apartments but all the tenants escaped.

Sunday's blaze at 231 Central Ave. started around 2:30 a.m. in the Kelly building that housed the Sunshine Farms convenience store on the first floor.

A woman who lived in the building behind Sunshine Farms, Laverne Davis, said neighbors banging on doors woke her up. She thought her own building was on fire, until she saw flames pouring out of the building next door, which is almost close enough to touch. Davis was working at a nearby Laundromat Sunday morning, still in her pajamas.

Most residents had gotten out of the building on their own, Scandariato said, but firefighters still had to go into each room to ensure no one was inside.

Meanwhile, the fire was gathering steam, creating zero visibility inside.

One firefighter working on rescue efforts had gone into the third floor by a ladder, and fell as he was coming down, suffering minor injuries.

“The worst place to be is above a fire," Scandariato said.

Another firefighter inside ran out of air and suffered carbon monoxide poisoning. Both were sent to The William W. Backus Hospital where they were treated and released.

A second-floor resident was pulled from her bedroom to the kitchen area by her daughter, but had already suffered burns, Scandariato said. The elderly woman, who was brought to Backus and then flown by Life Star helicopter to Bridgeport Hospital, was critically injured, according to police, who did not release her name Sunday.

Around 55 firefighters fought the fast-moving blaze for around seven hours, Scandariato said.

Scandariato said he remembers seeing the Kelly building when he first came to Norwich and thinking “that's one hell of a building to fight a fire in.” He proved himself right.

A combination of factors created many challenges: the size of the brick building, its age and renovations, and having to use a water supply further down the street, he said. They even lost communications with their dispatchers when the power lines burned.

“It was just too big for us,” he said.

The fire that caught on the power lines tripped a breaker, leaving thousands without power, said Christopher LaRose, operations manager at Norwich Public Utilities. Because of phone line failure, power could not be restored remotely. A worker completed physical repairs, bringing power back within an hour.

The police station also lost power, but switched to generators.

The power failure also set off burglar and fire alarms and prompted some customers to call 911 to report their power was out. This came at a time when police were trying to dispatch officers, firefighters and ambulances to the scene.

Police reminded residents to only call 911 to report an actual emergency. For routine calls, they should call 886- 5561, Ext. 6. Police caution that improper use of the 911 system can delay a response to an actual emergency.

Fire officials planned to use a crane to “peel apart” the top of the building and stabilize the walls there are in danger of collapsing and making it unsafe for investigators to go into. Investigators were expected to conduct more resident interviews and were likely to return to the building today, once it is stabilized, to continue to search for a cause, fire officials said. Investigators said were not able to make a determination as of Sunday night.

They are targeting the front of the second floor in their investigation into a point of origin.

The American Red Cross worked with more than 30 people left homeless – 21 people in the building, plus others from the three apartment buildings behind it, said Sue Rochester- Bolen, manager of emergency services for the Red Cross' Charter Oak Chapter.

The residents of the surrounding buildings will likely be out of their homes for a couple days, but the tenants of the fire-ravaged building will never go back, she said. Most are staying with family and friends, but a few are staying at a local hotel temporarily. After setting up a service center in the nearby Greenville fire station, the Red Cross also helped residents get everything from winter coats and shoes to prescription refills and glasses.

Anyone looking to help the families can try calling Norwich Human Services, Rochester- Bolen said, adding that finding permanent housing for families will be the biggest challenge.

About one of my favorite authors, and from the The New London Day. I have met Wally Lamb a few times in social setting, and he was one of the favored teachers when I was at NFA so I am so glad that his books are always so interesting and well received, here is an intereview with him.


Tragedy's Collateral Damage
Wally Lamb discusses his latest novel, 'The Hour I First Believed'
By Rick Koster Published on 11/30/2008

For Wally Lamb, the time-honored concept of “Thanksgiving Break” this year means a few days back home between extensive legs of a signing tour for his latest book, “The Hour I First Believed.”

Since its publication Nov. 11, Lamb has already ranged far and wide - from bookstores in Boston to New Orleans to Miami to North Dakota. And after Turkey Day, he's back on the road through the Golden West until just before Christmas.

Just because he's home in Mansfield, though, doesn't mean he's off-duty. And so, on an early Monday morning, he graciously fields a journalist's questions about the new book, which was already No. 4 on last week's Publishers Weekly best seller list.

Though popularity is hardly unfamiliar to Lamb - his first two, Oprah Winfrey-endorsed novels, “She's Come Undone” and “I Know This Much is True,” turned him into a literary superstar - he admits the early sales figures for the new book are gratifying because, for a long time, he wasn't sure it would ever get written.

”Boy, I really struggled with this one,” he says. “I'd had the success with Oprah and it was great and wonderful but it was over. Then I had a book contract and a deadline and, yeah, I started to feel pressure. I became more and more worried whether I could write a third book.”

Lamb, who graduated from and later taught at Norwich Free Academy, has bachelor's and master's degrees from the University of Connecticut and a master's in creative writing from Vermont College, but he didn't seriously try to become a writer 'til he was well into his 30s. And the success of both his first novels still surprises him.

What's not surprising, though, was that his agent had secured a sizable advance for the at-that-time unwritten third novel. And Lamb, whose renowned politeness and modesty is underscored in conversation, says he felt uncomfortable with his growing frustration over not being able to get started on the book.




He went to Manhattan and had a meeting with his agent and
another agency representative.

He says, “I told them, 'Maybe I should just give the money back.' And they looked at me like I was a Martian. I'm just not motivated by money or bestseller status, and my major concern was writing a good book.”

Eventually, with the help of a therapist and a moment of real-world epiphany, Lamb, 58, was able to work through the issues of his concerns and roll forward with the manuscript.

As with his prior two novels, “The Hour I First Believed” is a nuanced, multi-level and omni-dimensional story in which the past and present struggle for reconciliation - and there is always hope for the future. It's a wonderful, honest book filled with characters that are sometimes difficult to root for but always real. And, ultimately, the idea of resolution literally comes down to the final sentence.

At the heart of the story are first-person protagonist Caelum Quirk, a teacher, and his wife Maureen, a school nurse. After she has an affair, they move from Connecticut to Littleton, Colo., to try to revive their marriage. Both get jobs at Columbine High School. But when Caelum is called back home to care for a dying relative, Maureen is trapped in a cabinet in the school library on the day Dylan Klebold and Eric Harris go on their darkly historic shooting rampage.

Maureen survives but has a breakdown. They move back to the family farm in Connecticut where Maureen becomes addicted to painkillers. During and after a downward spiral that results in a horrible tragedy, Caelum, struggling with a variety of rage and guilt issues, seeks refuge in a cache of old family documents and diaries - through which Lamb marvelously weaves a colorful, revealing ancestral past that at first provides and then solves a painful mystery.

The tragedy at Columbine kicks off the story and serves as the underpinning of the novel. Yet the element that actually gave Lamb his creative break-through was a school shooting that had occurred earlier, in 1997, in Paducah, Ky., where a 14-year-old boy killed three and wounded five others. It turns out Lamb had a cousin in Paducah at the time whose teenage daughters were not only students at the school during the shooting but also friends with the attacker's older sister.

Lamb learned that, as the event unfolded, the shooter's sister wandered up and down the halls moaning that she'd never been in trouble and now her surname would forever follow her.

”I felt horrible for that girl,” Lamb says. “These events are terrible enough, but the collateral damage is incalculable. Every time I would think about the chaos she felt, I'd tear up and cry. Long before Columbine, I would think about this kid and the ongoing tragedy. And that's when the door opened for the novel.”

Lamb's riveting description of the Columbine shootings as they happened, and the immediate aftermath, are stunning, wrenching and bold exercises in craft. He says writing that section was tough.

”It was actually scary to do it,” he says. “If you Google Columbine, this sea of stuff just comes out. You can actually download the videos Harris and Klebold made just before the attack. You can hear the 911 call during the shootings and you think, 'This is real.'”

But there is much going on beyond Columbine in “The Hour I First Believed.” Playing significant roles in Caelum's search for his own history are a troubled teenager named Velvet Hoon (also a Columbine survivor), Hurricane Katrina, the Civil War, Mark Twain, drug addiction and alcohol abuse, abolitionists, the evolution of women's prisons - Lamb is famously involved in a literacy and writing program at York Correctional Institution in Niantic and has edited two nonfiction collections of inmate writings - an amazing history of the 1950s Rheingold Beer pinups and, significantly, mythology.

It was during his years studying for a master's degree in creative writing at Vermont College that mentor Gladys Swann taught him something he never forgot. “She said, 'You're never going to teach a completely original story because the stories that people need have been around forever. Always go back to the myths because they are the ones that have stood the test of time.”

In “The Hour I First Believed,” Lamb infuses both the stories of the Minotaur - he began to think of Harris and Klebold as a two-headed monster - and Orpheus and Eurydice, wherein Caelum's efforts to redeem Maureen mirror Orpheus' attempt to rescue his wife from Hades.

Naturally, at 700-plus pages and with so many layers, the book exists on a far more complex level than a James Patterson page-turner. And it's true that a simple narrative based on the Columbine shootings could comprise a streamlined thriller. Lamb, though, writes literature and is surprisingly candid about reaction to his work.

”I've taken it on the chin from critics; that I meander and slow the story down with the historical stuff,” Lamb admits. “That's fair. Once I'm through with the book, it belongs to the reader. But I do feel justified and that the ending connects the dots between the past and the present. Life is sometimes dictated by who our ancestors are.

Today, is the husband's sisters wedding which is the whole point of why we are in Wisconsin, which by the way is cold as anything.. No snow, but not for the lack of trying.

It is a sunny cold day today, so I am hoping the day goes smoothly for his sister, I am in the wedding party, and have to start getting ready soon enough. The husband is working on his champagne toast speech, he is doing it instead of myself, I am not good trying to think of something to say in front of a bunch of people.


See our videos www.uttelric.com/stephenpics, we will be posting more tomorrow.

www.utterli.com/stephenpic

If you want to see what we have been up to on our trip, here is our link. We finally put up the ones we took earlier on the trip, plus our Thanksgiving ones.

Still looking for work even on a holiday, really need to stay focused, due to eating so early we have plenty of time today, to do what we want, we have watched the Parade, ate, took a ride to see downtown LaCrosse and then a nap, now he is reading and I am using the computer in the hotel room, the wedding preparations start tomorrow, so it will be busy for the next few days.

Happy Thanksgiving!! We are in LaCrosse, WI what and interesting place. NOT!! I am watching the Macys Day Parade, which to me is always a tradition. My other tradition would be "Miracle on 34th Street", or "Home for the Holiday's", but obviously traditional TV does not realize that and without my VCR or tapes it is not going to happen.

We are getting ready to meet up with Stephen's sister Stacey and her seem to be new family, it is early this year, which is nice, so we have the rest of the day to do what ever we want, the only disappointment is no leftovers, which is so wonderful hours later to have a cold turkey and stuffing sandwich with cranberry sauce.

What am I thankful for this year? That my husband and I get to spend so much time together and experience of driving all over the midwest and after the weekend, we are going to Mall of America, I can not wait to see it...

I admit, I miss my family and will be calling them in a little while, my cellphone does not have good service here in the room, but when we pull out of the parking lot I will call my mom and then my dad. My mom, sister and brother are spending it at my older sister's house, just like last year, which was so much fun, I hope they are all happy and realize I miss them all.

I hope everyone is having a wonderful Thanksgiving and enjoying their family.

Day 7 of the trip: Yesterday, was meet with the bride and finalize some of the wedding plans, we will be talking to the Hotel on Monday, to make sure they are all set for my husband's sisters wedding on Saturday, Nov. 29. She has had a few snags along the way, including the Minister telling her 3 weeks prior, he would not be here for her wedding, but the interium minister will, but you can not meet him until the Sunday before your wedding. The DJ never calling back, and not having a timeline.

I did the timeline yesterday, and asked her some questions, none that really got answered, I think she was a bit upset I have not done more, it was hard being so far away, and everytime I asked she had it under control. I am upset at myself not her, but we are both here now, and we will get it all taken care of, he would never let anything not be perfect at his little sister's wedding.

Last night, we went to the local playhouse production of " A Christmas Carole", it was so cute, the Ghost of Christmas Past, was about 10 years old, and she was so cute, on stage at one point she was waving her arms and yawning. I have seen this play many times, but this one was the most fun, and had the biggest cast I have ever seen. This playhouse is doing a play next season about Cinderella and Prince Charmings marriage is on the rocks, and the kingdom almost bankrupt, what will they do? I know we will most likely not be here, but I wish we were, just to see what happens.

Today, we are finally going to see the husband's best man and his wife, they are always alot of fun. He is enjoying his hearty political conversations with his dad and uncle the other day, this will be another one of these I am sure. I just sit back and listen not participate these people are all so strong in their opinions and can articulate so well, I have my own opinions but can not speak as articulate and do not want to look like stupid. When we meet up with my friend Dacia I am sure that will be another conversation, he does love the debates and throughly enjoys himself which I do love.

It has been so hard being with each other 24/7 for this road trip, and we will be back just the two of us soon enough.

KEEP WATCHING WHERE WILL PAULA AND STEPHEN POP UP NEXT?

Day 58 for no job, Day 4 of Road Trip.

Well, I applied for 3 jobs this week, and have already gotten 2 rejections,I hate rejections, why not atleast a job intereview before you reject me all together. I realize it is part of the process but it still hurts that after so many years in the business of hotels and now I can not get my foot in the door anywhere.

Yesterday, we drove into Chicago it was cold as HELL!! It started to snow, so we parked at O'Hare and then took the train in, it was actually cheaper that way, we got a 1 day pass $5.00 for all day, and then parking was only $18.00, in Chicago for the same length of time would of cost anywhere $50-$60 a day. It was $6.00 per half hour, and we figured this was better and we would not have to drive through downtown, and start at the outskirts.

We met up with the Husband's friend Liz to discuss SOBCon for May 2009. We went up to the Summit Executive Center, it was wonderful and the food was excellent, they really went all out for their 10 year celebration for their clients and their staff, I was so impressed. Would love to work there, and for the owner who was incredible. We did another little video in Chicago and took some pictures, the husband should be putting it up on Utterli today or so. Next Week we will be in Wisconsin and will write more on that part of the trip.

WHERE ARE STEPHEN AND PAULA GOING TO BE NEXT?

Groton - Late on the night of Jan. 27, 2007, John Geise of Mystic finished his shift at the Grand Pequot Tower at Foxwoods Resort Casino and waited around so he could give fellow butler Wayne Lecardo a ride home to Groton Long Point.

As Geise drove his Audi on Flanders Road at 1:30 a.m., a speeding Oldsmobile driven by Fitch High School sophomore Cameron Lee, who was legally drunk, crashed into his car. All three were killed.

Now Katherine Stein, Lecardo's widow, has filed a lawsuit against Geise's estate, saying he was speeding, failed to avoid the collision and was driving when he should have known his reflexes and judgment were impaired by lack of sleep. Stein has also sued Lee's estate, his father, David, who owned the Oldsmobile he was driving, and various companies that owned and had loaned the Audi to Geise while his station wagon was being serviced.

She has also sued Alexander Lavruk, who hosted the large teen-drinking party that Lee attended before the crash, and Lavruk's stepfather, Charles Boos, who owned the house at 67 Farmstead Ave. but was not home at the time of the party.

Geise's widow, Jennifer, filed a lawsuit against David Lee and Lavruk two months ago.

A police investigation revealed that Lee was driving as fast as 101 miles per hour in the seconds before the fiery crash, which Lee's passenger, Nelson Panganiban, survived. The investigation also revealed the 16-year-old Lee was in violation of teenage license restrictions that barred him from driving after midnight or with a passenger. His blood-alcohol level was .12, six times the legal limit of .02 for underage drivers and above the legal limit of .08 for adult drivers. Lavruk was charged by police with hosting the party, and he paid a $146 fine. Police said those at the party refused to tell them where the alcohol came from.

Stein's suit states that Geise's negligence substantially contributed to Lecardo's injuries and his death. Geise's estate is administered by his widow, Jennifer and the couple have two young children.

Stein's attorney, John Brown of Hartford, said Thursday that his client reluctantly sued Geise's estate.

”As distasteful as bringing an allegation against someone she considers a close and personal friend, she did so reluctantly on the advice of her attorney,” he said. “If we could have left them out without jeopardizing the rest of the case we would have done so. But we couldn't.”

Brown said he made the recommendation to sue Geise's estate because of the legal concept of shared liability in which all parties who may have contributed to the damages must be named.

If Stein failed to do so, he said the other defendants could seek to have the case dismissed because all of the responsible parties were not named.

”If there is shared liability you have an obligation to name all the parties and let the court sort it out,” he said.

While the police report indicates Lee caused the crash, Brown said that photographs from the police report coupled with expert analysis of the Audi under normal operating conditions, indicate Geise was traveling in excess of the posted speed limit. Police said their only clue to the Audi's speed was the speedometer, which was frozen between 50 and 55 mph.

The lawsuit also charged that Geise was driving at a time when he was impaired by lack of sleep.

According to the police report, Geise slept 5½ hours before getting up at 7:30 a.m. on Jan. 27, 2007. After spending time with his family, he went to his second job at Prudential Pequot Properties in Mystic before arriving back home about 2 p.m. An hour later, he left for his 3 p.m. to midnight shift at the Foxwoods hotel where he was among an elite class of employees who cater to the casino's high-end customers.

At 10:30 p.m., he called his wife to say he was staying an hour later so he could drive Lecardo home. The two men left Foxwoods at 1:15 a.m. on Jan. 28, and the crashed occurred 15 minutes later.

Brown said the police report shows Geise had been awake for 18 hours after 5½ hours of sleep.

”We did not make any allegations in the complaint that we did not feel we could support,” he said.

Geise's attorney, John Collins III, could not be reached for comment.

The suit also charges that David Lee knew his son was at an underage-drinking party and did not take action, even though the Lee home is less than 300 yards from Lavruk's house. It charges Lee did not call police about the party or stop Cameron from driving, and the failure to supervise his son was “a substantial contributing factor” to Lecardo's death.

The suit also charges that Boos knew Lavruk had invited several teenage friends over to the house and “knew or should have known” they would throw a party where alcohol would be served. Boos' failure to control his stepson was a “substantial contributing cause” to Lecardo's death, according to the suit.

The suit also charges that Lavruk's decision to provide alcohol to Lee until he became intoxicated, even though he knew he was a minor, substantially contributed to Lecardo's death.

According to Jennifer Geise's lawsuit, up to 70 teens attended the party, where the alcohol choices included wine, three types of vodka, two brands of rum and six kinds of beer.

Stein's lawsuit seeks damages along with the cost of medical, funeral and burial services for her husband.

”The last thing my client wanted was a lawsuit over this matter. Unfortunately not a single one of the insurance companies was willing to provide her with a fair settlement, so we have to sue and fight,” Brown said. “It makes no sense and it simply causes additional pain and suffering for all of the survivors and their families.”

J.WOJTAS@THEDAY.COM

Day 3 was yesterday of the adventure and we drove through Indiana, what a boring state that is, from outskirts of Cleveland to Chicago is so figuring boring. All you see is corn fields upon corn fields. Stephen read and slept while I drove which was fine. He did take over some of the driving, but I felt bad because he did alot of driving on Monday, and I can not drive so well at Night, yes folks my eyes are going, I so need glasses.

We did go to South Bend, Indiana to see the campus of Notre Dame, we did a blurp of it on video at our utterli.com/stephenpic, what a beautiful place, I remember listening to Regis talk about Notre Dame on his show when I watched him, so I had to see it. Well worth it, people were so nice to show us where to go, and what we should see while we are there. Of course, we went into the bookstore, which the husband loved..

We decided not to stay in Chicago, we are at his folks house and are going into Chicago for the day today, and coming back out here tonight, which is great, then no hotel payment required, we can save that money for Wisconsin when we head up there next week. I did apply for (2) jobs today, one in Florida and the other in South Carolina, even though the Florida job is a Director position, the South Carolina one is absolutely beautiful property, we will see if anything happens. I did let them know I would be down there in December. I am still kind of hoping for a position to materialize right here in Illnois especially in Chicago, I love that area.

Well keep reading the blog and seeing where we are. WHERE IN THE WORLD ARE STEPHEN AND PAULA?

OK, yesterday was wonderful, we did a little video in front of the Rock and Roll Hall of Fame, and the Cleveland Brown stadium, if you want to see it you can go to www.utterli.com/stephenpic, and you can follow along on our trip.

We met up with the husbands friend for lunch in Akron, at restaurant VEGterran which is Chrissie Hynes from the Pretenders Restaurant. Now, the husband is far from a vegatarian, but we were both impressed the food was excellent. Chrissie Hynes was eating lunch right behind us, and he would not take a picture. My camera was in the car and "NO" my cellphone has no camera yes it is old but right now, I do not need anything but the phone itself.

Then another of his blogger friends invited us over for dinner which is so nice since we are on the road traveling. I did not know until after we left the husband had never met her, only on line. So, it made it even nicer for her to invite us into her home we appreciated that so much.

It kept snowing in OHIO, we get back on the road toward Chicago with a few stops wait and see where we are next.

Day 2 of the adventure. Yesterday, we started at 4:30am and left Naples Maine, and drove to Cleveland, OH, we were going to go up through Buffalo, Rochester, instead we went RT 17/86W through New York State and hooked up to 90W in Erie, PA instead of the 13 hour drive we finally got to the hotel at 9:00pm, due to the fact SNOW! SNOW! Yes, folks winter has begun.

The worse was once we hit Erie, PA it was a snow effect off of Lake Erie, we just read in the paper 24inches fell in Buffalo, so by altering our drive, we were not delayed as long as we could of been. Today, the husband has a business call at 9am then lunch with one of his clients at Noon and tonight dinner with some friends of his. We will be exploring Cleveland after Lunch and then again tomorrow morning before we get back in the car for Chicago. We are going to be in Chicago for 1 night but all day on Thursday, YEAH!! I love Chicago so that will be fun.

I am telling you by the last hour in the car I wanted to jump out and never get back in, it was a LONG!! Day, we are video taping this trip, and will be putting it on utter soon, I hope our friends and family like the video. We figure if anything happens to us people can see what we were doing.

I can not wait to see Cleveland, after his meeting we are going out and about for awhile and getting some groceries for the road. Also, breakfast the breakfast here at the hotel way too expensive. I feel drained today, so glad we are not making another long drive today, and took a day in between.

I will write more later.

Well, tomorrow is the day, we are leaving at 4am. We need to be in Ohio for dinner by 4pm or 5pm so we can get to the hotel and then meet his friend in Akron by 6pm.

It is a 12 hour ride, we are going the Northern route so I get to see places I have never been to, like Rochester or Buffalo, may not sound exciting but I think it would be interesting. I really do not want to go across PA again, that is a big state, we did that one time to Pittsburgh and it was boring.

I am getting more nervous, but very excited, we start packing the car today, and just leave out what we are wearing in the morning, so that we do not have to disturb my mom in the morning. The husband will drive first, and then I will take over. My unemployment still has not kicked in, but should on Friday, I have been approved, just waiting for it to happen. I swear they make it so difficult in order for you to find a job so they do not actually have to ever pay it.

Day 49 of no work. I do have (2) interviews on Friday, one in Boston and the other is a phone intereview which will be right after the face to face intereview. I am very nervous, and not sure what either company is looking for, it is hard when I can not find any information.

I always do my homework, but sometimes I do not always find everything I need to know before the intereview. I have heard that the first intereview company has a high turn over, but there could be a reason so I will know what to ask when I talk to them. The other company no one really knows alot about them, the reason the 2nd job sounds good to me, is because it is a traveling sales manager position, they send you to a hotel for two weeks up to 3 months and you live in the hotel. You have to start selling the minute you arrive on the property. Can I do it?

All this time out of work, makes me wonder if I can even do the job that is being asked of me. I know my self-confidence has gone down hill, it has always been right on the verge, and my job has been the only good thing in my life, and I have been defined by my work ethic my whole life and career, so without it what am I worth?

Money is becoming and issue or lack of money, and we both hate relaying on other people for where to live, I am giving up going to Connecticut which is upsetting me more than anything, I really wanted to see my friends before we left to go out west, but it is what it is, and we can not afford it at all.

Time to work on my answers and practice my intereview skills.

This was a letter I received from the email. I liked it so I am passing it along on my blog.

Open Letter to the Editor


Well we finally have a man of color as President of the United States. Although I did not vote for Mr. Obama, I am proud that a man of color (as I am one myself) finally proved that people of color could achieve anything they set their mind to. He is living proof that if you work hard, follow the rules, get a good education, and do not allow your color to hold you back, you can be whatever you want in life. I did not vote for Mr. Obama because I choose to pick my President based on the issues. I disagree with his ideology, however, that does not mean that I am not proud of his accomplishments. My son also ran for office and the issues and lost. While helping him with is campaign, I talked to hundreds of people maybe thousands. Many blacks were voting for Mr. Obama because he was black and they felt it was time a “brother got a break”. When pressed about the issues most did not seem to care or know. To back that opinion up I have heard comments and received emails throughout the day that I must be very proud of finally having a black president. It seems that there were many white voters selecting him because of his color also. Many of my friends and relatives said that it is about time for a black President regardless of the issues. It is a pretty sad reason for selecting someone to govern this country. To be fair, there just as many that believe in his ideology and that he is the capable of leading us out of the mess this country is in economically. Personally, I believe that only we can lead us out of this mess because we are the “economy”. That is what makes us so great. We the people run this country through the leaders we choose.

Mr. Obama should thank God and the late Martin Luther King, Rosa Parks, Harriet Tubman, Frederick Douglass, Mum Bett, Denmark Vesey, Dred Scott, John Brown, Abraham Lincoln, W.E.B. Dubois, Hiram Revels, and the black solders of the civil war and others that have given their lives so that he (or any black man or black woman) could someday become the President of this great country. Although all were essential in our black history, Dr. Martin Luther Kings leadership may have been the most important figure. We now have the right to ride in the front or rear of the bus, drink out of the same fountains, shop in the same stores, live in the same neighborhoods, go to the same schools, etc, etc, etc. For 40+ years we have had those rights and many others. Racism is still evident today even though laws were passed to punish those who practice them. Much like murder, robbery, rap, etc all of which are illegal, those crimes also committed everyday. Mr. Obama overcame the bigotry, the prejudice, the injustice and the hatred and he did it WITHOUT a black president.

What is sad to me in all of this is that these freedoms and opportunities have been here for all of us, however many of us choose to ignore them. Why is it that some have chosen to take advantage and some have not? Why is it that some succeed and some do not? What is in our make up or soul that makes us who we are? We all have the opportunity to attend school and college. What is disturbing in all of this is that in this great victory for Mr. Obama we as a race have chosen to ignore our ancestors who were hanged, shot, maimed, tortured or killed. We seemed to have squandered over time opportunities and rights we gained while waiting for one man to show us the light. Mr. Obama's opportunities have also been our opportunities. Why is it that, we needed this one man, who took advantage of the labors of our ancestors, to validate us as citizens of this great country? We call ourselves the “N” word, our women are Bitches or Ho's, we kill each other over drugs or territory. We refuse to assimilate into the American culture afraid that we will loose our own. We have already lost our own. People have died to give us what we have today - an opportunity. An opportunity to succeed or fail, but at least an opportunity to try, something that they our ancestors were never given. Know we vote for people because we still feel the need to be taken care of. We feel as though this country owes us something for the wrongs of the past. I say we owe our ancestors for the sacrifices they have made. Our fathers, uncles and cousins fought in wars to preserve the American way of life. They felt like it was worth fighting for yet we do not think it is worth living for. How have we shown them our appreciation When are we as people of the American Dream start to realize that we are part of it and we need to start taking advantage of what this country has to offer. I have always been proud of this country. It has not always been the best country in the world but it is second to none today. In our short history we have overcome things that some countries are still dealing with today. White and black, men and women died so that I could enjoy life today. I show my appreciation by trying to give back and be the best American I can be. All they asked of us was to remember the sacrifices they made and do better for those that follow.

I feel bad for Mr. Obama because we (Blacks) have put a heavy burden on him. Our expectations of him although, unfair are no different when any other president has been in office. Somehow many of us believe that he will somehow show up at our homes and help our kids with their homework, attend PTA meetings, go to open house and teachers conferences. He will be there when our kids need to be disciplined for bad behavior or support them make bad decisions or need guidance in life. We have put a great deal of responsibility in his hands as we have done with every president or elected official in the past.

The question is what happens when he does not show up for these meetings, or help with the homework, or discipline when required and advise and guide when asked When did we abdicate the responsibility of raising our kids and insuring their welfare to one man When are we going to finally take responsibility. Well we just did. The election of Mr. Obama leaves us with no more excuses. For all of those people of color that are thrilled that a man of color is president, what are you going to do to help him? What sacrifices are you willing to make so that the world won't look at America and say well nothing has changed, they (People of Color) are still blaming the government and they have a Black President. Are you ready to walk the walk? You have proven that you can talk the talk. I expect to see an increase in participation by Blacks, at PTA/PTSA meetings, teacher’s conferences, Board of Education meetings and any other school function. After all, you show up for the sporting events that our kids participate in. We know that our kids can achieve great things in sports and we never hesitate to support them. Now you know that they can achieve great things outside the sports world. Will you support them? Your child could be the next president of the USA.

You put this man in office so what are you going to do to help him The problem is that the people that really need to read this won't and the people that do read this will take offense and make excuses. When will we accept the responsibility and opportunities that our ancestors fought and died for? We will no longer be able to hide behind the lies of prejudice. We can no longer use the excuse “It’s because I am Black”. Will you allow Mr. Obama's presidency to go by with no attempt to follow his lead. This is not just a matter of helping your child but reaching out to those less fortunate than you. Government will never fix what only we as parents can fix ourselves. I saw many black families bring their kids to the voting booth with them. These are our sons and our daughters. There to witness an historic event. But what will it mean in 4 years if we as a race have done no better for our kids then let them witness that event. When Dr. King was killed we went to the schools and the colleges that were once only populated by white kids. No in predominately black schools across the country many are failing. Whose fault is that? Dr King and others got us the right and opportunity to attend and what have we done with his sacrifice. Each and every one of them represents all blacks. If you don't believe that, just consider the burden that we have put on Mr. Obama. He represents us because we put him there. We gave him the opportunity to serve this great country. He can not fix our lives through legislation. He can not force an employer to hire your child if they are not qualified or prepared. What are we doing to insure that our kids get those same opportunities? Three hots and a cot is not parenting. Blaming someone else is not the answer. If Mr. Obama is going to succeed, then we need to support him with more than just votes. We need to support him in our homes and neighborhoods with deeds and action. Here is our opportunity to show the world and ourselves that we no longer need to be taken care of. We do not need hand outs. We can stand on or own without government or the President shouldering load for or lives. We can and should be responsible for our lives and our children's lives. If you have kids help them. If you don't then help someone in need. Government and money is not the answer. Caring people are the answer. We can no longer use the excuse “it is time” for selecting a black man as President. Next time we should ALL know the issues and what is at stake in our vote. What are you going to do next? All great presidents had the cooperation and help of the people. If you expect him to be great and if another (person of color) is to get a chance then what are you going to do? You are out of excuses.


HOWARD A. JUBREY, JR.
REPUBLICAN MINORITY LEADER
WINDSOR BOARD OF EDUCATION

We had a wonderful weekend, we went over to Lincoln, NH to have lunch with my cousin Christina and her husband Jeff, and ended up going on the Lake and spending the night at their house on the Lake. It was 60' and we had a fire in the fire stove, and when the rain started it just made it even more fun.

We so enjoy their company, and luckily my husband & her husband get along so well, you know sometimes it is hard to find couple friends where everyone gets along so well. We had friends in Winston-Salem, but they really got along well with the husband more than myself. We have a couple friends in Illnois, but we only see them about once a year, they were my husband's friends first, but I feel I have become their friends too, we always have a good time when we do hang out.

I am upset today, because "yes" I have been approved for my unemployment but now there is a waiting period until I get my first check, excuse me, it has been 46 days, how do they expect me to live? I realize it is not their fault or responsiblity but it is hurting me and my husband, we do not want to stay another week with my mom, we want to get out of here. I do have and interview in Boston on Friday and we will see what happens with that, it might move our decision.

Maybe we will not go to Connecticut and just leave from here on Monday, once I know if the check is going in next week.

Day 44- I might have another intereview in Boston next week, that would be great, the position is for a Director job in Newport, RI, which would be great, if it came about, now I am just waiting for it to happen.

I admit since I have been out of work, I have become sucked back into my soap opera's. My favorite is still "One life to live", I thought when the orginal Todd Manning left I would hate the new one, but he is wonderful. Marty and Todd had sex today, now I remember watching it when Todd raped Marty, are they the next Luke and Laura? Which is funny, that "General Hospital" has Luke, Laura and Scott back to the triangle of 20+ years ago. My husband is worried about me, not realizing that every morning I go on line and apply for positions and then make follow up calls but when people will not call you back or at least tell you if maybe they are interested what am I suppose to do?

I have been trying to call Unemployment office in Maine since Monday, and they keep telling me they are too busy to pick up the phone give me a break, I need to ask some questions and they do not even have a hold button. This is so important what do they think I am going to do? I need money... We are now so far behind on bills. Seriously, what do they expect?

History has been made on Nov. 4 2008 our 44th President is going to be Barack Obama, our first black President. Now, he will have to prove himself he certainly has so many issues he will have to handle, it will be quite interesting to see if he lives up to all the hype.

On the other hand, I am appalled by John McCain's camp blaming Sarah Palin for the lost, I think it was more than that, John McCain was always behind Obama in the polls, and she may have been a hinderance but you can not blame her for everything.

To be honest, I liked Sarah Palin more than I liked John McCain, well now she can go back to Alaska and get more experienc, then wait until 2012 it could be Palin 2012...
Since, experience seemed to be what people were harping on, at least she is a governor not just a senator who now is our President Elect.

The economy is such in the tank, can any 1 person actually change it? I lost my job 42 days ago, and now listening to the news unemployment is rising daily what are we suppose to do? Are we going into a depression?

The next move will be quite interesting to watch, and believe me the world is watching Obama, to see what he is going to do..

Day 40 - Tomorrow, is a big day first I have a face to face interview down in MA, it will take us about 4 hours to get down there, so up early and then drive down to see the area before the interview at 1pm, I am very nervous, so I am looking at my book on how I should answer some questions, or better yet what the employee is looking for, the resort is beautiful so it will be interesting to see if they like me, or if I think it would be good for us to move down to MA. What is nice it would be closer to CT and my friends and family so it might be a good fit.

ELECTION DAY !! It will be a first with whichever party wins. I was watching FOX NEWS today, and then reading news on line because main stream media is very skewed toward Obama it is sickening.... Excuse me!! What is with the ripping down McCain/Palin signs? Here in Maine on RT 302 there have been 119 signs ripped down for McCain, one house put up a wooden sign that says," You may rip down our signs but have not changed our vote for McCain/Palin... Then yo have Obama/Biden signs where Obama's name is HUGE and you can barely see Biden which is in light blue on a blue background.

How about the fact Obama's aunt who lives in poverty and is and illegal alien, why was that not all over the news? Or if I was a coal miner, why again does the Main Stream media not put the fact that he stated and not out of context, he will basically put them out of business? No, you will not see anything negative on Main Stream Media they will just push it under the rug... My question is what if he does not win? How will MSNBC, CNN, ABC, Spin this to their advantage? Will they yell, it was fixed or something?

Now, I am not saying I am against Obama, but why not have a balanced attention? I know polls may not mean much but 1 poll I read say, MSNBC had 73% negative comments on McCain and only 14% On Obama does that sound fair and balanced to you? CNN was 66% Negative against McCain and 44% Negative on Obama, which is a little better but really not that fair now is it?

Obama was a Senator, and seems to have started running for President right from that moment, so why does he have more experience than Sarah Palin, who is a governor of Alaska? Besides, Palin is not running for President McCain is so why do the comparisons?

This is a heated race and it will be interesting to see what happens? I truly believe it will be a close race, I do not think Obama will sweep it as his supporters think he will, no I do not think it will be like the Nixon/McGovern or Bush/Mondale races.

Before you vote read up on both candidates, make a fair/balance choose do not listen to just main stream media because they are not giving you all the facts, for once the american public needs to do their own research...

OH!!! Why make death threats against "Joe the Plumber" for asking a question? Liberal, Gay talk show host out in San Fransisco, did you not like the question or did you not like Obama's skirting actually answering it? It is a free country, and every person has their right to their own opinion, sorry if you do not believe that, he had every right to ask our candidate for President a question...

Day 38 - Yesterday was bitter sweet, we loaded the moving truck on Thursday and then on Friday, we got up at 5am to finish loading and then at 7am did the walk through with our landlords.

I loved that house, we were happy there, and then when we finished putting everything in storage and came to my mom's I feel like a failure. Living back with my mom even though it is only for two weeks makes me feel awful. I did have (2) Phone calls yesterday, one for a job in Buffalo, NY and the other in MA, I may do a face to face interview with the position in MA. It is still not the ideal position I want, but on the other hand if they pay well, it might be worth it to have a job.

I really do not want to keep jumping around, so if offered my husband and I will have another decision to make, if it is the right fit, or if I should hold out alittle longer to the right position comes in to play.

One of my first jobs out of high school was as a meat wrapper for Beit Brothers, not the store in Montville the one in Norwich, which is closed now, but I remember the job fondly.

The owners were there and wanted each employee to feel as if they counted, and for me getting up at 5am to clean meat trays and stand in July in a freezing cooler to wrap meat was not the ideal job, but I learned alot and appreciated the chance.

It is so sad to see this company close its doors, the economy is so hard right now, and it is awful to see a company that has always been there close.


Beit brothers are closing up shop 'with a very heavy heart'
Poor economy, bigger competition, aftermath of lightning strike take their toll on local market that planted its roots a century ago
By Megan Bard Published on 11/1/2008



”The power outage losses, combined with the increased competition from the big box competitors, excessively high energy costs, and a weak economy has led us to conclude that attempts to continue our operation no longer make sense. It is with a very heavy heart, but also with much gratitude to our loyal customers and dedicated staff that we make this announcement at this time. We are very proud to have serviced the Montville community and surrounding towns for over forty-seven years.”

ARTHUR AND NATHAN BEIT, FROM THEIR RELEASE ANNOUNCING THE COMPANY'S CLOSURE

Montville - In 1908, Samuel Beit and his three sons opened a meat market on the west side of Norwich after the Beit family, which had run a cattle business for years, decided to try selling the fresh meat in the marketplace.

The business was a success.

Decades - and generations - later, the small meat market had grown into a full-fledged supermarket, the first located in Norwich's Franklin Square. In time, seven markets - some small, some large - would open throughout eastern Connecticut, from Dayville to Uncasville, although only the Montville store had survived.

In the same year the family-run grocery celebrated its centennial, the third generation of owners, Nathan and Arthur Beit, announced Friday that the economy, competition from larger, chain supermarkets and damage to one of the markets by a lightning strike has put Beit Bros. Super Markets Inc. out of business.

”The way things are … between the lightning strike and the economy the way it is, there is just no business out here. We just had to give up,” Arthur Beit, an owner, said Friday while talking to some customers. He added that there are no future plans for the family business.

”This is it,” he said later in the day.

The Montville store on Route 32, which opened in 1961, will close its doors in the coming days. The Norwich store closed several years ago, and in July the brothers shut down the Dayville market after 36 years.

'It's just so hard
to believe'

Nathan and Arthur Beit shared their decision with their 61 full- and part-time employees Thursday. On Friday morning the men hung signs in the store's Midway Shopping Center windows announcing the decision to their customers.

”It's just so hard to believe that after all these years … I never thought they'd close,” longtime customer Debbie Radachy said Friday afternoon.

Radachy said she was just in the store Thursday and that although some of the shelves seemed bare and the magazine rack was not full, there was no indication that the store was closing.

”I might have shopped at other stores for sales, but my grocery shopping, my main shopping, was done there,” she said.

Dean Tine, co-owner of Montville Hardware with his brother, Shaun, said he hates to see it happening to the Beits. He recalled his father opening the hardware store in the 1970s, next to the Beits' market. The hardware store has since relocated.

”They've been customers of ours and we've been customers of theirs,” Tine said. “You know how it is - we're a small business and in the same deal. I just hate to see it happening to them, a longtime, local business.”

Tine and Radachy also spoke of the Beits' commitment to the community.

Tine said the family continuously supported the local Lions Club by donating time to the organization.

For Radachy, the community spirit is more personal. In the mid-1990s, on Christmas Day and with 40 guests coming for dinner, Radachy discovered that a turkey she had purchased at the store was spoiled. Desperate, she called Nathan Beit at home.

”He went down to the store and let me go get anything I needed,” Radachy recalled. “There's no other store would do that. I was really impressed.”

In July, during powerful storms, the Midway Shopping Center was struck by lightning, causing a power outage. The grocer was forced to discard all of the store's perishable items, including meats, frozen goods and all dairy and deli products.

Loyal customers waited for the shelves to be stocked again, and for the most part they were. But until recently a sign apologizing for the “higher than acceptable” amount of items out of stock remained posted on the doors.

The market did not have adequate insurance to make up for the significant loss and was never able to recover, according to the brothers.

M.BARD@THEDAY.COM

Day 34 - Today, I have a phone interview in 10 minutes and I am so nervous. The position is for a traveling Sales Manager, where you go to hotels while they are looking for replacement and start selling the day you arrive, no training, basically learning as you go.

The good thing is it would not matter where we live, as long as close to a airport. I am not sure it would be a good fit, but it gives me practice in interviewing, even though they can not see me I did put on a suit, so I feel like I am interviewing properly, silly really but it works for me. My confidence has plummeted so low, being without work is making me feel even worse about myself. Then the self doubt am I thinking to highly of myself by applying for Director positions? Even though I have been in the business for over 10 years, am I qualified? Yes, I do know that, but my resume does not reflect it, how do you put that down on paper that the last 3 jobs, I have known more than my direct boss? You do not want to sound petty or overly confidant.

I met up with my old assistant from the last job and my associate who left a week before I was laid off, and they are both doing so well, and I got the gossip that they are offering my position part time to the old F&B director, yes it is not at the same salary and it is only p/t but why not call me back? We are finishing our packing today, and will load the truck tomorrow and be out of here by 11am on Friday. Once everything is in storage then what we have in the car is all we are going to have the whole trip. The husband is attempting to load the car now to make sure we have room for everything I think his books are going to have to go into storage but did not want to tell him that.

Well time to go my interview is about to begin.

Day 28- No job...

Today, I have been applying for positions all over the place and nothing is breaking. I so enjoy the rejection letters/emails, most say, I have the experience, but have gone another way. I realize these are standard letters but it still hurts. It really is a full time job looking for the right position.

I did ask myself last night, where do I want to be? I keep saying New England, but really what is here for me? I really do not want the South unless it is Key West,FL. I did find the most perfect job for myself but to be honest, they would have to give me a chance. It is for a Marriott and Conference Center in Lancaster, PA, it is brand new and 300 rooms opening in Spring 2009. It would be a perfect fit, working on and opening and putting into place the Standard and Procedures, it would be so much work, but I truly believe it would be worth it.

Lancaster is a nice area, and I believe in Marriott's and love a challenge of getting in on the ground floor and making it a success. I like the feeling of working toward something big, I know it would be my first Director position, so they may not give me a chance, but I can always dream. Even if they do not want to put me on the payroll until January for the right job I would hold off, and then look to relocate. The husband is willing to go anywhere I get a job the only 2 places off limits is NYC and Connecticut.

I did apply for a few jobs out in Chicago, and that would be closer to his family, but I am a momma's girl and closer to New England would be a better fit for me.

Halloween is coming up next week, and this article caught my attention in the New London Day.

Sprague - Some folks on the library's board of trustees were just a little spooked.

What's that? A real live witch was going to practice his craft at the library on Halloween? In front of children?

Yes, said Linda Puetz, president of the Friends of Sprague Public Library. And the witch, the Rev. Rapid Cabot Freeman, was going to charge admission and donate the proceeds to the library.

Freeman himself came to the trustees' meeting last Tuesday night to reassure them.

”We don't throw lightning bolts, we don't kill babies and we don't drink blood,” Freeman said. “It's not about that. It's about positive energy.”

Halloween, he explained, has its roots in Samhain (pronounced sawin), the Celtic new year and, for witches, the holiest day of the year, “like Memorial Day and New Year's Eve all rolled up into one.”

The witchcraft Freeman planned to perform was a ritual honoring the dead, for on Samhain, “the veil between the world of the living and the world of the dead, our passed-on ancestors, is the thinnest, so we can talk to the dead.”

”By 'talk' I don't mean like I'm talking to you. I mean put out offerings and show respect for the people that we love.”

The board, Freeman said, seemed reassured.

”Some people had some concerns. All right, fine. The word 'witch.' I know about that. Roger Corman movies and 'Freddy Versus Jason' and all that. ... And I get that,” he said. “So to let people know, I went over there. I told them what was going down. Everybody was cool with it.”

But, in fact, everyone was not “cool with it.” Several members of the library board went to First Selectman Catherine Osten to complain that the Friends of the Library had presented the matter as a fait accompli.

”They had a library board meeting, and the library board was told that the first selectman had already approved the event, and the board had no say in it,” Osten said Monday. “So the library board came to me and said, 'Did you approve a pagan ritual?' And I said, 'No, I did not.' “

In fact, Osten said, because the event was to be held not in the library proper but in the town community room upstairs, those planning it had to get a permit from her office to use the room. Since no one had sought a permit, or paid the $50 rental fee and the $50 cleaning deposit, she said, there would be no witchcraft there on Halloween.

”This is about someone that doesn't want to follow process,” Osten said. “They've refused to apply for the room, and they want me to say OK. Have we denied it? No, because it hasn't been presented to us to deny.”

Freeman, who said he reserved the room four months ago with librarian Barbaranne Warner, and who has been advertising the party on his public access television show - “The Witching Hour” - for the past six weeks, said he believes it is a matter of religious discrimination. He said he'd been planning the appearance since he spoke at the library about witchcraft last year and members of the audience asked him to give a demonstration.

While the town has allowed everything there from Christmas parties to christenings, he said, they are banning him because he's a pagan.

”People have had Christmas parties there,” Freeman said. “If the birth of Christ isn't a religious holiday, I don't know what is.”

For her part, Puetz was furious. So furious that she put out a five-page statement excoriating the first selectman.

”Ms. Osten seems to think there is religion involved, and a town building cannot participate,” Puetz said. “If the selectman censors the Halloween event of Mr. Freeman because she feels religion is involved, then Halloween in Baltic must be canceled in Sprague.”

Baltic, of course, is the heart of Sprague, where the old grist mill housing the library sits across the street from Town Hall. On that same night, the fire department, she pointed out, is hosting a Halloween party, and the department is located in a building belonging to the town.

”If Mr. Freeman is not allowed to have his event on October 31, it may be a discrimination issue,” Puetz said.

But Osten insisted Monday that religion has nothing to do with it. In addition to Christmas parties, she said, “There have been weddings, christenings, birthday parties, that sort of thing. … In town we have four large churches or religious organizations, and we have a very large, very large Mormon population, but I don't care what their religions are.”

Meanwhile, Freeman said he was saddened and angered by the selectman's “Hitleresque decree” and her failure to return his calls. The library has had a special place in his heart ever since he was a boy growing up in Baltic, he said. For it was there he discovered witchcraft, by reading books by famous witches, and dreamed of someday meeting them.

And he has. In fact, he ended up studying at the knee of Laurie Cabot, the Witch of Salem, and “the people who were my heroes are now my friends.”

Freeman said he wanted to give the proceeds to the library because “I believe in that library so much.”

”That was my rocket ship to get where I needed to be. And I want everybody to have the same ride to wherever they need to go.

”And I wanted to be able to give that gift to these kids,” he said. “Give them a library that they really have books. Give them a library where if they want to

Reality TV - Not that it is reality really.
Last night, I was flipping and saw and episode of "Janice Dickenson" and was so appalled and upset, I thought I would vent a little, her son is trying to bring in Plus Size Models to her failing business, and the way she treated these women and the client was appalling. She was so downright rude because she truly believes it is gross, and not what modeling is, well then you are too old... Have you not noticed that the modeling world has evolved? Last years winner of "Americas next top model" was considered Plus size? Oh, yeah Tyra got rid of you, smart girl.
The Girls Next Door- I admit is a guilty pleasure, now I hear all the girls are moving out and a new set being brought in, why?
The Hills- Since Lauren Conrad is actually moving on in her fashion business, are they centering more on Audrina? Why are Heidi and Spencer still on the show? I think Heidi has had way too much work, her 5 minutes of fame are up, get on to Whitney more.
Project Runway- YEAH!! I was so excited to see Leann win, I was so sick of Kenley's attitude, I love Koto also, but Leann was consistent the whole time and diverse, I just liked her so much. I know the show is leaving Bravo, where are they going? I really enjoy this show, but now my Top Chef is coming back and this year in New York, wonder if any past chef's will come back as guests for the surefire challenge, now that they are in New York.
Real Housewives of Atlanta - I am over the series, either go back to the OC or forget it, these women besides Lisa and DeShawn have no redeeming qualities, Kim reminds me of a girl I knew growing up in CT, thinking she deserves only the best and going only after men with money, we called her GoldDigger...

Sad, I love this place, it was the scene of my husband's and I first date, and then the place we became engaged. A beautiful Inn but can not seem to find people to run it properly and who have the bucks to put into it that is required. Maybe Mohegan Sun should look into buying it like Foxwoods bought the Spa at Norwich Inn and Mystic Hilton, just a thought.

From the New London Day Today:
New London - Warrants have been issued for the arrests of two owners of The Lighthouse Inn who have been uncooperative in an investigation into failure to pay employee wages, the state Department of Labor said Thursday.

Nancy Steffens, a Labor Department spokesman, said warrants were issued Wednesday by the New London Superior Court for the arrests of Christopher Plummer and Maureen Clark.

”We have not gotten very good cooperation from the owners,” Steffens said.

Steffens said the owners have not produced records that have been requested and have been difficult to track down. Based on their lack of cooperation and affidavits from seven former employees, Plummer and Clark are each being charged with seven counts of failure to pay wages, she said.

The total amount of wages in question is a little more than $14,000.

The charges against Plummer and Clark include four felonies and three misdemeanors. The felonies are for wages above $1,000 that were not paid, and the misdemeanors for amounts under $1,000, Steffens said.

In addition, the Lighthouse Inn owners have been charged with 14 counts of hindering an investigation, based on the number of days each of them has failed to comply with a subpoena from the Labor Department's Wage and Workplace Standards Division. Fines for these charges can run from $150 to $200 a day and will continue to mount as time goes by, Steffens said.

Plummer has been the face of The Lighthouse Inn for the past few months, and his disputes with employees had led to much of the staff losing their jobs. Clark has not been seen at the inn and restaurant for an extended period of time, according to former employees.

The inn's restaurant and bar were closed in August because the facility lacked hot water. The inn has remained open, though guests are asked to shower in a nearby building.

A phone message left at The Lighthouse Inn to Plummer was not answered Thursday evening.

”This is an open case,” Steffens said. “We will be continuing our investigation.”

Steffens said if other employees haven't been paid, they can file a complaint by calling the Labor Department at (860) 263-6790.

Started packing today, it is amazing how much "stuff" you accumulate over time. When we left CT in 2005 we only had 1/4 of a truck load, now we have to rent a huge truck from U-haul and then a 10 x 20 storage unit to hold it all.

If we get a job in the South then we have to come back to Maine to get our stuff and again get on the road, part of me wishes we could get rid of it all, but I know then when we do finally land somewhere, we will need it all and not have the money to replace it.

I do feel a bit liberated in a way for not having a home base. I really want to stay in New England near my family and friends but need to find work, and I have to go where there is work. If you think about it, and go back to the early 1800's people went whereever works was, they would leave their home country's and make a new life. It is alot easier now to communicate then back then but it is still amazing to me.

I am rereading Gone with the Wind again if you are wondering where that is coming from.

This article below was in the New London Day today, and after reading it, all I felt was sad, and it made me think things happen to everyone and you just never know. Could this be me someday, due to no work? Are we entering a major depression? My heart goes out to this couple and their family.

If it was you, what would the first line say about who you were? I was pondering that and have no idea what it would say about me, because I do not believe I have done anything remarkable in my life, I was never a star athlete or a cheerleader. Scarey to think, what you do when life takes dips and turns you can not control.


"Charles D. Orbann was a star athlete and a squad leader in the U.S. Air Force. He taught troubled children for more than 20 years in a Pennsylvania school system.

Dianne M. Orbann was a cheerleader in college. She worked for many years as an executive secretary, and her life revolved around her husband, son and grandchildren.

As of Tuesday , Charles Orbann, 59, and Dianne Orbann, 57, of East Hampton are also sentenced bank robbers. He is serving 19 months in prison and she has a suspended sentence and three years of probation. Their lives were a classic American story, their lawyers said, until mental and medical illnesses and a gambling problem crept into their lives.

”In 25 years, this is one of the most perplexing cases I have ever had as a criminal defense lawyer,” said Ron Murphy, who represented Charles Orbann.

The husband entered the People's Bank at 139 South Main St. in Colchester on May 18, 2007, implied he had a gun and demanded money. He left with a bag of cash and fled in a car driven by his wife. Witnesses were able to describe the car, and police spotted them a short time later in East Hampton. The Orbanns had two loaded guns in their car when they were arrested.

At the sentencings in New London, the Orbanns' adult son and other relatives listened as the couple's attorneys chronicled how their lives had deteriorated to this point.

Murphy said that in the 1990s, things started to change for Charles Orbann. Mental illness crept into his life, and he started missing days at work. He eventually left teaching and was diagnosed with depression and bipolar disorder. The couple moved to Illinois, then to Connecticut to be close to their son and grandchildren.

”One of the unfortunate things about them coming to Connecticut is they were kind of close to Mohegan Sun,” Murphy said. He did not provide specifics on Orbann's gambling problem. “There were ce rtain losses,” he said.

Dianne Orbann left her job to take care of her husband and became “the keeper of the secret” of his mental illness, according to her attorney, Hope C. Seeley. Doctors said Orbann was unable to function in society without his wife. But eventually, Seeley said, his paranoia infected his wife. He demanded that she carry a loaded gun, and she did. She suffered from depression and panic attacks. Both suffered from physical ailments, and Charles Orbann worried all the time.

The wife could no longer control her husband, Seeley said, and on the day of the bank robbery, she didn't think her husband was serious.

”I think what happened that day is she was immobilized into submission,” Seeley said.

Charles Orbann's short-lived crime spree actually began 10 days earlier. On May 8, 2007, he smashed a car window and stole two pocketbooks while watching his grandson's soccer game in East Hampton, according to his attorney. He tried, unsuccessfully, to use credit cards from the pocketbooks at the casino. On the way out, he smashed another car window.

Husband and wife apologized for their crime, and their attorneys pleaded for leniency. But prosecutor John P. Gravalec-Pannone asked the judge to impose full sentences.

”We can empathize on a human level, but we have to send a message that if you're going to rob a bank and display a gun, you're going to jail,” Pannone said.

Judge Susan B. Handy remarked how terrifying it must have been for the bank teller that day. She said she recognized Charles Orbann's illness drove him to rob the bank, “but we can't have people robbing banks.”

The judge also told Dianne Orbann it was time for her to stand up for herself.