Monday, June 18, 2007

On Fox News Webpage this morning was an article about Jen Schefft( the bachlorette) she had won on the Bachelor with Andrew Firestone (heir to the Firestone Tire Company and Winery), then she had her own show and again did not settle.

From the Article.
"Settling means being in a relationship that's anything less than you deserve," the 30-year-old Schefft, author of "Better Single Than Sorry: A No-Regrets Guide to Loving Yourself and Never Settling," said in a phone interview. "It's being in a relationship that's not exactly right … for the sake of being in a relationship."

She received alot of flack in regards to the fact she could not find love. Yes, she was on TV and my gosh not the real world so how come she could not find love? Let us look at the real world, how many dates did you have to endure before you found your husband? Why does our society make a woman over a certain age feel less than adequate because my gosh she is "still Single?" Did we not learn anything from "Sex in the City"?

Yes, I am married right now, it took me a long time. I had been in long term relationships but had never gotten married until are you ready? Until I was "40 years old", yes, I was single until then oh my gosh how did I do it? I went on some bad dates, some good dates and some alright dates. I met some interesting, loving great men and some fools. It just never seemed either the right guy, or the right time. I played the game, you do know the one, even though no one likes to admit it. It could be the game of who has the upper hand, the game of "no" you can not touch until there is a committment, the I am too busy (even though you are staying home) etc. The night I met my husband, I had decided to stop playing the game. I really did not care if he liked me or not, we met at a work function and flirted then went out for more drinks. I was honest ( could of been all the wine before this too), forward, I want a kiss so I made the move. I told him I had decided at 39 years old, to stop playing the game. If he calls he calls if not, no big deal. I had turned into Miranda (sex in the city), cynical but fine with the fact if he doesn't like me great, at least I will not waste my time wondering.

He actually liked that I would tell him, how I felt instead of a woman's signal, "I am fine" when you obviously aren't and expect the guy to guess, because if he guessing then he is the one right? Wrong, we are setting ourselves and the guy up for failure. I agree with Jen Schefft, do not settle you will regret it later. Be honest with your spouse to be, because that is so very important when you are married. It is not the wedding you stress about for a year, it is the actual marriage. Society according to TV/Movies leads up to the Wedding but do not show the marriage afterwards. That is why you have shows like "Bridezillas" or "Who's wedding is it anyway?" Marriage is tough an no matter how perfect your wedding is nothing will prepare you for it unless you are honest with yourself and your spouse.

My husband is a wonderful man, perfect "NO" but we have an honest relationship, sometimes we have spats, and disagreements but we both know we are in this together and can work through anything. So, women no matter what your age, do not think well the next man right or wrong that asks I will say "yes' it is better than being alone. Not really, you can be in a marriage an feel more alone then when you were single.

2 comments:

Anonymous said...

Not perfect, eh? I cook and clean and do the laundry, plus all the "man" stuff that you like so much. Perhaps you'd like to re-consider...

Paula said...

No person is perfect, get over yourself, you are perfect for me.