I am back at work, it has been 4 days and I can not seem to get it together. I have made stupid mistakes with a few of my groups and it is nothing life savings but it still is a big deal for them.

I know my mind is elsewhere, I really just want to get back to New England. I am flying up in another week for an interview in Maine. I have stated that relocation must be part of the package, but you never know what they are thinking. I am now very worried and most likely will be until I can get up there. If they have changed their minds, I hope they let me know before I go all the way up there and they have already hired someone.

Believe me, I never thought I would be one of these people who can not handle death, but this has hit me so hard. I barely can concentrate on my work, making rookie mistakes. It is as if I am back to square one, my husband thinks it will get better as we progress. I am not so sure, my heart is not into this, personally, I don't care if your room is set up wrong, get over it.!! You ordered it one way then changed your minds tough crap!! Was it on time? Was everything else you ordered all set?

I have become a bitter person, an need to snap out of it, or no one will hire me for anything in this industry. I have been talking to Thomas lately, he is sorely missed. It is an empty whole in my heart, an I know time will help, but right now I feel LOST!!