Let me start this post with a fact about myself, I am basically a happy person, and can let almost anything rub off my back. On the other hand, when my personal life has taken so many ups and downs, I have always been a shining star within my career. I admit, I thrive on the fact people come to me, even if I am not the boss and ask my opinion and guidance. I have always taken my career very seriously.

Every move has been made with a purpose and leading to the next promotion. So, when it is not going gangbusters then I am harder on myself than even my bosses realize. I try everything I can to help the situation, I may say, NO I am not working on a Sunday or late is not true, I need to verbalize and then turn around and give in to my client.

Wherever I work, I must like the people I work with and love the property, believe in it to sell it. If I do not believe in it, I can not sell it. I love the property I am at, and love the way the staff caters to each client, and it is not phony, we really want them here year after year.

Lately, I feel as if I am a major disappointment to all the higher ups, and it is getting me down. It is affecting my home life, I have been awful crabby to my husband because I need an outlet to take out my frustrations, because being a WASP, I do not confront the person who is making me feel this way, for a few reasons. The main one being I am a big baby, and if I ask they may say something I don't want to hear, so its easier to be in denial then actually deal with it head on. The 2nd I am just plain scared, I am going to lose my job for poor performance.

I am not one to make excuses, about the economy, the weather etc. I am now working on better my sales pitch, and finding out what is going to work, because what worked a few years ago, is not working now for me. I am getting back to basics and going through all my sales books and back to basics on what to ask and in which order. The last few weeks, the few weddings that have wanted to book, have backed out for various reasons, and none are money or myself. Actually, two have asked me to help with their wedding even though they are not here, I had to decline obviously, but it was nice to be asked.

1 was because they wanted to be closer to a town, 1 was because they did not want to sign and attrition clause on guest rooms and another was because they have decided on having it in Wisconsin their home state. These are all legitimate reasons but still so hard for me to grasp when I believe I did everything I could to close the deal or did I? Now, I am starting to doubt myself and that is not going to help me in my future endeavors. What do you do when you hit a brick wall?