Today, I was talking to the new girl in my office, who is a Muslim. The reason I am telling you she is a muslim because she was explaining her culture, her husband and her were an arranged marriage. They talked on the phone for a few weeks and were married within the month. They have been married now 4 years and have 2 children. I asked her if she loved him, she said, how can you love someone after only a month? In there culture you find someone who is a good provider, good father an the love will come. I again asked did the love come? "NO".

She then said, I am not sure what love is? Explain to me what you mean by love? So, I was pondering the question, what is love? I thought I was in love 10 years ago, with a man who treated me like crap, looking back on the situation, I know I loved him, but he did not love or respect me and I do believe you need both to have a lasting relationship. My husband jokes that I don't respect him, but I do more than he may ever realize. In simplier terms for me love is, when he walks in the room, my heart skips a beat an a smile comes on my face because he is there. Even if it has been 10 hours, or 10 minutes. We have an incredible relationship, more than I ever dreamed or thought I deserved. Do not get me wrong believe me we have our fights, but we always talk through any problems.

So, I have to wonder could I live without "love"? Could I have married someone for the security, because he is a good father, provider an companion except there is no love there? I don't think so, I was 40 years old when I got married, I had waited so long for the right person and had no intention of settling just to be married. I know my family never thought I would get married. There is nothing wrong with settling if that is something you could live with, are you settling or waiting for the fireworks?

My friend explained that, her husband during their first year, hurt her so bad that after their daughter was born she kicked him out, but her parents intervened and told her to give him another chance, the problem is the damage is done. She may forget what he did but she will never be able to forgive. As a Christian, I realize we are suppose to forgive and forget, but I am the same way, once someone hurts me, I can never forgive them. I may forget an move on, but my heart will be blocked forever from that person. I do understand where she is coming from, but again I ask how long can you hold on to something that is not there? Can you stay in a relationship without respect and love? I am putting this out to the world what can you live with and without to be comfortable?