I am at work on this beautiful but cold autumn day in NH. It is coming up on Halloween, then it will come fast to Thanksgiving, Christmas, New Years. This time of year always makes me think about the past, and no matter what has happened, I don't see the bad.

I miss Thomas more and more each day, it has been (2) years, and I still pick up the phone and want to talk to him. Then I think about Seth and Wayne, and how tragic all (3) Deaths were, Wayne's makes me the saddest because it could of been avoided, and his widow (kate) at home waiting for her husband. Now, that my husband works nights, it stresses me out until he gets home.

I love the fall, the changing of the leaves, and reminds me of when I was in school and going shopping at Marcus's in New London for my Levi's, going to the Mall to get a new coat, and then of course, the bookstores for supplies and more books. This is the first year since we have gotten married that we are NOT moving, we are both enjoying New Hampshire and talking about maybe in another 2 years buying up here. We have found our Starrs Hollow, so now the question is will it last?

In this economy you never know, we are both grateful for working and paying our bills, but we are not dumb and know in order to keep it flowing we have to do whatever it takes for the company to keep our positions.

I am a huge Fox News fan, and watched this young man on the news, and was thinking what the h*** is the school district thinking, isn't this the type of young man you want to represent your town and country. Here is the article.

"The upstate New York school superintendent who suspended an Eagle Scout for 20 days for keeping a 2-inch utility knife locked in his car is unwilling to speak to the teen's family or bend in his ruling.

Lansingburgh Central School District Superintendent George J. Goodwin, 55, said in a written statement that his district "has an established policy of zero tolerance with respect to the possession of weapons of any kind on school property or in school buildings."

But nowhere in the school district's rule book, which is published online, is there any mention of a "zero tolerance" policy, leading some to question whether Goodwin, in fact, was compelled to suspend the youth.

Seventeen-year-old Matthew Whalen, a senior at Lansingburgh High School in Troy, N.Y., says he got in trouble over a survival kit he keeps in his car that includes a sleeping bag, water, a ready-to-eat meal and the small pocketknife, which was given to him by his grandfather, a police chief in a nearby town."

My heart goes out to Matthew Whalen, I saw him on the intereview he looked uncomfortable and visibly upset that his dream career might be dashed by this incident. Here is a respectful young man who wasn't causing any problem just being prepared isn't that what the military trains?

As I sit here on a Saturday night, I worry about the husband and work ok. The husband has hurt himself, he sprained his ankle and is now on crutches. I do not think he has ever been on crutches before, and it was quite amusing watching him try to maneuver. It also, made me feel superior for once in our whole relationship, I knew something he didn't, it may be childish but still made me feel good.

I have sprained both my ankles at least 3x each, I have broken my toe twice, and then of course there is my knee. So, I have been on crutches many times. The last time was at least 10 years ago and they were made of wood, or a wood like substance and they were heavy. Now, they are made of aluminum, and very light.

You realize as you get older that it is not so easy or fast to recover from any injury. We do not have health insurance but since he hurt himself at work, they are paying for it.

Its fall, and it is beautiful up here in NH. We went to "Chowderfest" yesterday,
I do know about the fact it was for charity, but we still lost the competition. I am not all that competitive, but we didn't even place. Then we came home and had a nice early evening together.

The husband had to go into work, due to someone not coming into work, My heart says it will be only for a little while, but my head knows that once you step into the restaurant you are pretty stuck for hours. I am in no way mad at him, just disappointed due to the fact even though we work together, we never see each other.

I miss my husband, he does seem very happy about working at the restaurant, he was born to be in the industry that he walked away from 4 years ago. I have to just suck it up.

Well, its Friday night, and a bit chilly here in NH, so I am under a blanket watching, "CSI:Miami" and hoping the phone does not ring for the party at the hotel. I hate that I have to stress everytime I leave the office, and wonder if my staff can actually handle it without me.

My husband is still working and I miss spending time with him, we are having such a hard time connecting with him back working nights. So, when w
e have our 2 days off we try to catch up. I know it sounds lame since we work in the same building but it is different when you are at work, and when you are home.

This weekend we are actually working an event together on Sunday, luckily its a day event, and we will still have the evening and the whole next day together. Up here in NH it certainly does feel as if Winter is coming, the colors are so vibrant for the autumn, my favorite time of year, but it is getting really chilly in the evenings, so it does feel as if winter is coming just no snow right now.

I am very much looking forward to winter, why?

Kayne West is a dirt bag, to do this to Taylor Swift is cruel. I am finally watching the VMA Awards, my heart goes out to her and everyone else. I hope his career is over, he is disrespectful, bad loser. What ever happened to losing with dignity? He was upset in 2004 when he lost to Gretchen Wilson, what right did he have?

REALITY CHECK:
BIG BROTHER So glad JOrdan won over Natalie YEAH! She deserved it, and wonder what will happen between her and Jeff.

PROJECT RUNWAY: Ari how did she get on the show? I am likeing this new cast, and am not sure there will be a clear villian as of yet or am I missing it?

REAL HOUSEWIVES OF ATLANTA: Kim took the focus off of Derek Blank the amazing photographer over a twisted ankle, my gosh get over yourself. He deserved all the attention and I find it selfish and manipulative.

Van Jones has resigned yeah! About time, exactly what did the "Green Czar" do besides have his face all over the news and making stupid statements? Exactly what was he talking about with "Columbine" only middle class white boys will go and shoot up a school not 'black boys' no they will just what shoot each other and that makes it ok? I did not understand his point.

What is happening with the Obama Czar's? He has not been in office all that long and his administration is taking hits everyday. The Health Care is a huge issue, I am not ready to give my opinion of it as of yet, I am still trying to read the 1000 pages, I want to be informed. I do believe everyone should have health care, but I am not so sure I think that the government should have so much control.

What is up with Representative Slaughter? She will not have a Town Hall meeting because she does not want to be 'attacked" verbally I mean? She is basically signing her own political death, the people elected you, and if you do not meet this face on you will not be reelected, seriously these people elected you to represent them, not your own agenda. Also, what is with the supporters of the Healthcare saying the people who are speaking out is a "Republican" Proganda and then these people are outside telling people how to act when someone stands up and disagrees? What about 'Freedom of Speech?: Do you think it does not apply to you?

It is amazing all that is happening in the world and what is happening with our
New President"

Last weekend, was windy, cold, rainy and I felt awful for the bride but it ended up being beautiful no matter what. This weekend is beautiful, and the last "hurrah" of the summer! I am working all weekend, and as of today the husband has become our new dining room manager which means he will be working nights most of the time.

We did talk about it, and the extra money is going to help us tremendously, we need to get ourselves out of debt and a bit ahead, my losing my position last year, set us back and made us use up all of the savings we had accumulated over the past few years. It is amazing how fast you can use up your savings when not working. Every time I see the statics on how many people are losing their jobs, it is so upsetting.

We are both very fortunate to have positions,for us we are working very hard to get ahead in our lives. We are going away next weekend, and I am so excited about it.

This weekend was crazy, the weather was rainy and windy and the wedding was under a tent. I will admit that I was nervous of the fact it might go down during the wedding, luckily it held up, and the bride and groom seemed very happy. This weekend we have a wedding on Sunday, and I am so excited, because the husband and I are going away next weekend for my birthday. We are going to a Winery/Spa in Georgia it is called, "Chateau Elan". I have not booked any spa as of yet, but looking forward to it very much.

We had such a nice time Sunday and Monday, the weather cleared up and it was so nice outside, we went down to Portsmouth on Sunday, and went to the bookstore and then to see the movie, "District 9", it was a very interesting movie, it is hard to explain but I think everyone should go see it. Who is to say there aren't aliens out there?
What was great about it, they did not spoon feed the first encounter it wasn't even in the movie.

Today,was errand day, laundry, grocery shopping, we would of cleaned the apartment except that during the rain storm on Saturday, our ceiling started to fall apart. They came today and covered the whole but that was it, they need to really fix it and plaster it before the next storm.

OK, I have been avoiding it, but my "45" Birthday is coming upon me in 3 weeks. I am so surprised by it, not that I didn't know it was coming more like where have the last 20 years gone? Sometimes, I feel as if I am still 22 years old and finally on my own, and then the next thing I know I am 45 years old.

I have had relationships crash and burn, I have lost some friends along the way, and some lovers, when do you realize you are not in a sitcom anymore? This may sound strange to some people, but seriously look at your life, have you ever thought you were on show? That someone was filming your life 24/7? Especially now, with reality TV taking over or really taken over the airwaves? When I was in college it was 1983, and MTV was "new" and we thought how cool is that? Our favorite songs with visual explanations of how we would imagine that song ( or not), I remember watching Madonna in the "like a Virgin" Video and then the very sexual performance on the MTV awards show. What did you think? Or "Billy Jean" or "Beat It" Michael Jackson? When I was "clubbing" it, those songs were huge and all over the D's turn table.

Those songs bring back memories to myself some good, some not so good. When you are in your 20's you think there is time for this and that, now that I am hitting "45" I wonder what in my life is going to change? How have I changed since 1987? I have lived on my own or with roommates since then, I have never owned a house, and in this economy that is probably best, but you must ask yourself is this it? Will I ever own anything? We move it seems every year or two when does it stop, what exactly am I looking for, to make me settle down? Right now, we do live in "Starrs Hollow" isn't that where we wanted to be? Or was that another illusion in my own mind in order to keep moving? Now, I am stressing am I going to lose another job? Am I going to be "laid off" again, and if so, can I bounce back again? Or that fact I am '45' going to hard for me to find another job?

The world can say we are not "ageism" but we are, look at the advertisements on TV, they are geared toward the younger crowd, the oldest they get is maybe early 30's. I am looking forward to "cougar town" with Courtney Cox, you go girl say it like it really is. The 40's supposedly is the new 30's but that is not how you feel when you are in your 40's.

Well, this weekend at work was like having a "root canal" and it not turning out exactly as the dentist thought it would. It was horrible, between the rain and my clients Sunday did not come fast enough.

Now, I have an annoying client who keeps calling without leaving messages because I am sure it will not be a good conversation. I have to bite my tongue when she calls so have decided she can now talk to my boss. I am done with her and her craziness. Yes, I may be a coward but I think if I talk to her, it will get ugly, so its better if I do not talk to her, and let her deal with my boss instead.

Work has been interesting today, our f&b manager had to be let go, due to his immaturity is my take. He has been harassing some of the young girls at work. I guess he was a bit intoxicated and tried to actually interview someone and then he made a 18 year old girl drive him around. What is that? After he was dismissed it was as if the flood gates were open, more bad stories have come around.

I hate for anyone to lose a job, but if these are in fact true, sounds like he deserved it big time. I want this weekend over, now!! (3) Weddings, I am not looking forward to it, is it Sunday yet? I want to spend time with the hubby...

Its Sunday Night, we are in Boston, the husband is downstairs talking business with one of his associates, I am upstairs in the room and it is actually fine. I am a bit toasty, alittle too much wine ( as if there is a possibility).

We found a great restaurant called "Laurel Grille & Bar" the website is www.laurelgrillandbar.com, if you are in Boston anytime soon check it out. They had a $19.95 fix price menu and it is the beginning of Restaurant week so there is another menu for that at $33.06 both 3 courses. I ordered off the menu and it was fabulous, I had Flank Steak, and the husband and his friend both ordered off the Restaurant Pre-Fix menu and enjoyed the whole dinner. The atmosphere is wonderful, the artistically details, the hardwood floors, color decor all contributed to a wonderful feeling evening.

Tomorrow we will of course, go to "Levenger" the husband's favorite place on the planet it seems sometimes. Today, I walked around the malls, and around the city, I do love being in a city. Boston has such a feel, different from NYC, each city fills me with hope. NYC fills me with the possibility of the stage ( I gave that up a long time ago) but I love to go to shows and museums. Boston fills me with history, and my background and heritage, I am a New England Girl. Chicago, to me fills me with excitement and sexiness. San Fransisco makes me feel as if I am a bohemian and can do anything to better the world. London, makes me feel as if I am a international traveler ( even though I love London because they speak English) What does your favorite cities make you feel like?

I think it is when you visit them, and you really feel the city not just look at it as a stop over, enjoy and learn the cities rhythm it is intoxicating.

Health Care is the big HOT BUTTON! Right now, so why are people surprised when people lose their cool and get excited? It is 104 pages of what? Has anyone actually read it? Who wrote it exactly? Why is AARP Supporting it when so many elderly are getting s*****? Have they noticed more people dropping memembership to AARP for supporting it? Why are the politicans not actually listening to the people who elected them? It is more political and they actually listening, it is out of control. I do believe this will not be the last "Town Hall Outbreak".

"A town hall meeting to discuss President Obama's health care reform descended into shouting and violence in a Tampa, Fla., suburb Thursday as angry opponents clashed with event organizers.

Close to 1,500 people came to Ybor City to attend the session on health care and insurance reform featuring Democratic State Rep. Betty Reed and U.S. Rep. Kathy Castor before the event exploded into a near riot.

According to local media reports, the larger-than-expected crowd gathered outside the Hillsborough County Children's Board building, where several hundred people, mostly in opposition to government health care, began to loudly chant and scuffle with organizers posted at doorways after the auditorium filled to capacity.

A freelance videographer was roughed up in an altercation, which damaged his camera equipment and glasses, and at least one man was treated for minor injuries after a scuffle left his shirt partially torn from his body.

"That's the most violent anyone has been towards me," Mark Bishop told WTSP-TV. "It was surprising to say the least."

Video shot outside the auditorium showed several people holding signs and posters, banging on doors and windows, while others argued face-to-face and were seen screaming at one another in the parking lot as police looked on.

Inside, Democratic lawmakers had a difficult time delivering their opening remarks, as they were met with shouts of "You work for us!'' "Tyranny! tyranny! tyranny!'' and "Read the bill!" the Tampa Tribune reported.

As tensions rose further, Rep. Castor was escorted out of the town hall by police after Reed encouraged her to leave.

"They're hiding from their constituents. She works for us and needs to listen,'' Karen Jaroch, a homemaker and organizer for the 9-12 Project told the Tribune.

"We said all along our role was to come and give an update on the bill in Congress. That's what Betty Reed asked us to do ... and that's what we did," Castor spokeswoman Ellen Gedalius was quoted as saying.

Opponents said liberal organizers had attempted to allow early admission to those who were seen as favorable to health care plans making their way through Congress, but Reed denied the accusations, saying those brought in were organizers helping to set up the town hall.

"I represent a number of people who ask questions about what's going on with health care, so I thought it would be good to put on a meeting and have the congresswoman come in and give an update," Reed told the Tribune. "When you get to the point of possible violence, you've gone over the edge."

Top White House officials counseled Democratic senators Thursday on coping with disruptions at public events on health care this summer, officials said, and promised the party and allies would respond with twice the force if any individual lawmaker is criticized in television advertising.

In the week since the House began its break, several town hall-style meetings have been disrupted by noisy demonstrators. These episodes have drawn widespread media attention, and Republicans have seized on them as well as polls showing a decline in support for President Obama and his agenda as evidence that public support is lacking for his signature legislation.

About 20 protesters gathered in Saratoga Springs, N.Y., Thursday to let Democratic Rep. Scott Murphy know they oppose the health care plans in Washington. They carried signs saying: "Obamacare Seniors beware! Rationing is here," and "If socialized medicine is best ... why didn't Ted Kennedy go to Canada?" Motorists honked as they drove by.

So far, three House committees have approved health care legislation, and a measure is expected on the floor this fall. One committee has acted, and a bipartisan group of senators on the Finance Committee has been at work for weeks trying to draft a compromise plan."

August 1 - I am starting to feel as if I might lose another job. My sales have been down and lets me honest how much do I care? There is no incentive, and I am really not a greedy person, but without the proper commission basis and none on rooms exactly what is my incentive to work hard for this company?

I work hard for my clients and some appreciate it, but usually they ask for more and more from me, and give no appreciation back. I am still angry at the Father of the Bride from Jun 26 he is a compelete a** and is still running his mouth all over town. Luckily, my boss did not give in to his demands and we gave no money back, which is fair because he did not deserve any. This week, we had a nice piece of business and they took care of the staff, and were praising at every turn which sometimes makes it just as worthwhile.

Yesterday, our Rest. manager guy came in was asking my boss, about our lack of weddings and such, they had a good 30 minute conversation and ignored me. It hurt my feelings but on the other hand, I don't care. I love this industry and believe me do not want to lose another job, but it has been really hard for me this year, to bounce back out of being out of work for 5 months and then, jumping into a new place that was under construction for the first 4 months I was here. It is a learning process, but I know in my heart and head that the owners do not care, they want it to produce $$ and now.. It is nice having a new and polished product to sell. I know I am being paranoid but reading my journal from last year, I got this same feeling at the other place in July and look what happened in September?

When is the economy going to bounce back? Is it that or should I really look for another line of business?

Summer has arrived!! Sunday, the husband and I met up with my cousin and her husband and went on their boat and was on the Lake all day. It was the first time this year swimming in Lake Winnipesaukee. It was refreshing, once you dive in, it is a bit of a sting but once you are in it is great.

On Monday, we did errands around the house and then went down to Portsmouth, I was craving Chinesse and then saw "Harry Potter's" newest movie, can not wait for the next one. This one was better than the last one, but maybe it is because I read the book so long ago.

We are really enjoying this summer for a change. On the Weekend of the 19th we went camping up at Gunstock it was great, I read (3) books, sat by the pool, got some sun and the husband cooked some amazing meals over the fire pit. This weekend not any plans at the moment, but you never know. I hope everyone out there is having a great summer.

August always makes me feel like it is ending, and this August is no exception it will go flying by for me, due to so many weddings.

Summer has finally hit NH, so excited. Today, humid, hot and sticky but actually feels like July. I believe it is going to be a short summer since it took so long to get here, and soon enough the leaves will be changing, which I will be honest am truly looking forward to, which I have not in such a long time.

Fall has always been my favorite season growing up in CT, it seemed the best time of year, alot had to do with school starting and getting new clothes, and you never knew what is going to happen.

I have decided to bite the bullet and go camping with the husband this weekend if it doesn't rain. We bought that beautiful tent and last weekend we bought our sleeping bags, we have been acquiring our camp gear for about 2 years, and we think we might finally be all set, but you never know. This will be "car camping" at a camp ground that has showers, beach, pool etc. Not out in the woods. I need indoor plumbing. Part of me is excited and the other part is a bit nervous.

The husband and I have been a bit snippy at each other lately, and even though I will not admit it to him, it is more me then him. We are going away for my Birthday in September so excited...

Well, it has been quite awhile since I wrote. Let me start with the "rain" here in New Hampshire is getting on my nerves. We did end up with a wonderful July 4th weekend.

I have had some awful clients, who can not seem to figure out who exactly is to blame themselves and not giving a straight answer, or just because they want to complain. So far, it has been 3 major issues with clients and only (1) really has a complaint, the others just are...

July 4th, cleared up for the wonderful parade here in Wolfeboro, did get some star gazing, Jimmy Fallon, Drew Barrymore and Justin Long were here for the holiday weekend. I talked to Mr. Fallon very pleasant and nice guy. I did not really recognize Drew Barrymore, but did Justin Long, other people were like my gosh, that is Drew Barrymore. It was a nice time, the young girls handing out hotdogs with me, were so excited, they got autographs and pictures. I was trying to be mature, but I know if it was John Cusack who walked by, I would be so excited too..

Then after the parade, the husband and I went on a picnic and it ended up raining, more like downpouring but it was still fun. Then the rain cleared up and we watched the Fireworks over the Lake with our neighbors on our porch, it was such a nice evening. Sunday, was wonderful, we hung out, went to breakfast and lunch, and went up to "Gunstock" for the Arts and Crafts festival, and took the lift up to the top of the Mountain, after so much rain on a sunny day you want to be outside. On Monday, I finally got my hair cut, and again it was a sunny beautiful day. We did errands, hung out with each other reading and sitting in the sun. Had a great dinner, and enjoyed ourselves.

Once, back at work on Tuesday, it was crazy busy and pouring rain, and it is suppose to rain until the weekend, then clear up and start raining again on Monday. It would be great if for the wedding on Saturday it is beautiful out, or at least not raining. It has been such a wet, cold summer so far and it is already July. It would be nice to have atleast a little summer before the Fall sets in.. I read somewhere that Seattle has had 30 days of no rain. Did the world flip over and I missed it?

Hope everyone else is having a wonderful summer wet or not..

It is a beautiful Sunday morning here on Lake Winnipesaukee, and my wonderful husband came to work with me this morning to help me get ready for my big corporate group arriving in the hotel tonight for a big two day meeting.

I would love to actually be on the Lake in a boat, but work seems to come first these days. We live in such a beautiful place it would be nice to be able to enjoy it instead of stressing about work. We have been open now 3 weeks, and it seems things have been falling through the cracks, and since I sell a certain idea to clients, I have to make sure it happens which means I am at work when needed. Why is that? Why can't I trust that it will get done? No, I am not that much of a control freak, I have already seen it and it is scaring me, we kick into the season with our first wedding this weekend. It is going to be a long week.

Friends of mine and my husbands are moving this week I believe to Texas, from Illnois. I know that must be hard, but it is going to be quite the adventure for them, we wish them well, and most definately will come and visit them. For some reason watching people, move and leave their hometowns across the country to find work reminds of me of earlier times in America where you go where the work is,to support your family. We love to move and try different places but I truly believe that is not normal, or is it now? My family has always stayed in CT, when my mom moved to Maine it was a shock, and then we have moved for the last 4 years to a different place. We are staying put for atleast 2 years if not longer.

We have found our Starrs Hollow, I had a guest check in the other day, and her comment was when they drove into town, her husband said, "My gosh it is Starrs Hollow", it truly is...

I has such a wonderful weekend in Mystic, and it was so much fun. On my way down to Mystic I heard that my older sister and her family were going to be down too, so I ended up having dinner with my family and then out drinking with my friends.

Problem is, on Sunday it was hangover time, I am not as young as I would like to think I am, it takes me so much longer to recover. When did that happen? When did I offically become old? My husband has not even turned "40" yet, and I am going to be "45", it freaks me out sometimes.

He is home from Chicago, and I am so happy, and he mentioned he was a bit hung over one day it was crazy, when we are together we do not drink as much.

I feel old...