I will preface this post with, I have been watching alot of "Sex and the City" lately.
Do you ever wonder if you are in your life where you were destined to be? Lately, I have been trying to remember who I was and what my dreams were when I was in High School, college, early 20's late 20's, all of my 30's.
When I was in high school, I do remember that for our yearbook, you had to write what you wanted to be or whom, I put newspaper reporter, was that right or just easy? Did I really want to do that or did I just watch way to many black and white movies where the woman was a reporter? I mean, I wanted to be Rosalind Russel in "His gal Friday", or Barbara Stanwick, in , " Meet John Doe", now both of these women at the time would of been called, "broads", those outfits, the way they talked and smoked. I may have a voice like Barbara Stanwick, but not her gumption.
I mean I am a follower not a leader, and never realized that until I look back on my life, in the pictures of my own mind. Which could be in my own favor, because let's be fair it is my mind. After seeing Karen Valentine, in " Coffee, Tea or Me?", I decided I wanted to be a flight attendant, what and exciting life that would be to travel the world and meet interesting people, and seeing different countries.
In my life I have traveled but for myself it is never enough, I like to plan my trips, our next one is not going to be Scotland, instead we have or I have decided we are going to New Orleans, neither of us has been back since Hurricane Katrina. My (3) trips previously, have been with girlfriends and 1 ex. The hubby lived there for a few years in his 20's when lets face it he was a bit of a slutbag..
I want to see his New Orleans not the tourist one, I have done that already. When I was a single woman, I traveled alot more, every year there was a major trip, Hawaii, Aruba, Antigua, Miami Beach and Key West. My BFF Claudette and I were good travel partners, we also had small weekend trips, in New England. I had more money then, or so it seemed, but again, no savings account so where am I now?
I love my hubby yesterday, was a magical day together. We drove around Maine, went to a Greek Festival, sightseeing the place we call home, it was just and incredible day. My point is I am 43, and still only rent a home, I have never owned a house, and it is getting to me, is that what is suppose to happen, you get married buy a home and live your lives out in that house.
I feel like I am 25 again and trying to figure out what my next move is, in either my career, love life, family life or just do I want to be doing this for the next 10 years? ** My scary age is 45, which is only 2 years away. When I was in 6th grade,I thought by the time I was 45 I would have a corporate job in a high rise, who cared that I had no idea what I would be doing but would be a VP of something, even then I was never the one in charge I was right behind them.
Are you where you thought you would be? My life took a huge turn when I met my hubby at 39 years old, I had come to a point in my life I would never get married and within 18 months I was, it still blows my mind, because at that moment my life took a huge leap of faith. We love to travel together, and since kids do not seem to be in our future, we are now working toward a common goal of being able to own a house and travel the world, to fill that home with memories of our wonderful life together.
So, part of me believes I am where I am suppose to be, and wonder if I had taken a different path in 2004 would I have met my hubby?
Monday, July 14, 2008
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