Jealousy - Meaning Envy, Resentment etc. My jealousy is not what someone has or who they are it is the fact that I could not be there for someone I care about.

On Monday, was my good friend Thomas's birthday, and he was going to Anthony J's in Mystic one of my favorite places to go out to eat in Mystic. He was going with friends of his from work, I was happy for him but so very jealous that is wasn't me taking him out and celebrating another year with him. I am huge on Birthday's. One year, I took Thomas to Savannah Georgia for his birthday weekend. We had so much fun!! It started on the plane he is afraid of heights and hates to fly, so we did the natural thing we had some drinks, we were a bit obnoxious that even the flight attendant shoved bottles of booze at us to shut us up!! Now a days, that would not happen they will not even let you on the plane if you are bit loud, rude and a bit drunk.

Another year, when we lived together we had a blow out of a party at our house for his birthday, or it could of been mine or both to celebrate. I miss Thomas, he and I went through alot together but always knew we would be in each others lives. Even when he moved to Austin, TX for a year, I went an visited him for a week while he was there. While he was away I met my husband so when he came back sometimes it felt like a tuck of war between him and my husband. In the end it worked out, we would hang out an still have a good time an talk. At Christmas time when we were home in CT. I saw Thomas an we played games, drank laughed and I didn't want it to end but the trip never seems long enough.

So my jealousy is I live so far from my friends an family an wish I could be there for every milestone. Do not get me wrong, we made the right decision for us at the time to move south, but every once in awhile I wish we were still close to everyone I love an miss terribly. I am sure Thomas had a wonderful birthday at Anthony J's an hopefully had a Martini for me...