I am at a crossroads in my life. The company where I was work, has had to do some downsizing, and I was let go without warning on Wednesday. I do understand, but I have never been laid off or fired before.

So, then I of course, have a zillion questions, what did I do wrong? What could I have done better? Been there more? Lowered prices for meals? What??? These are questions that will never been answered and maybe part of me doesn't want to know, it is easier if I blame myself without knowing it really was my own fault.

I was so angry, but I knew it was not my clients fault, so a few hours later, I emailed my old boss, to give her updates on upcoming events. I am still angry but sadness has just set in, I am lost and trying to get a plan together.

I have already applied to positions, not any I desperately want, but life goes on, and we have to live. I have finally started my self-help book for weddings, and my wonderful husband is helping me stay positive. I did a mean thing and made him quit too, I could not have him on the property when I was not there. Selfish, I know but it would kill me, having him working my weddings, we are all allowed to be selfish once in awhile.

The economy is so scary right now, and we are in Maine, so we need heat, groceries, snow tires etc. I am scared, but motivated enough to know self-doubt is not a luxury I can afford right now.