I am getting so excited to see my family this weekend. On Sunday, we went to 4 different stores to get all the necessary equipment and food for this weekends picnic. I never realized how much stuff you need to make a successful event.

Our lawn was mowed yesterday and it is raining today, suppose to be a beautiful weekend. Today, is a bit sad for me, so I am trying to think of the positive. My friend Thomas who passed away in August, would be 39 years old today. It is kind of creepy that he always said he would not make it to 40.

In our house, at the bottom of our stairs in the living room, we have a table behind the couch with pictures of family and friends. Yesterday, while getting ready for work, a picture jumped and fell down twice, I did not think much of it, until I realized it was a picture of Thomas and I. I did tell him if he is haunting me, I know it is his birthday and still very much missing him.

For his 30th birthday, I had taken him to Savannah, GA for the weekend, we had so much fun, starting with getting on the plane, Thomas hates heights and hates to fly, so I did give him some drinks to calm him down. Even the Flight attendant slipped us a few bottles of vodka to keep him under control. We had just both read, "Garden of Good and Evil" and loved it, so we enjoyed our time there. I had not been back until last St. Patricks Day.

I miss Thomas so much every day, but today is harder than usual for me. My poor husband has been very supportive and understanding of my mood swings. I talked to my brother today and he mentioned that his wife is bad this week because it would be her mom's birthday and she passed away in November. She did not tell Jon about this, so he admits he has not been very supportive, I am very honest with my husband and tell him what is bothering me, so he can be prepared and not be shocked.

Yesterday, I told him about my bad day at work, but before I started, I told him I did not want his advise, I wanted him to listen. Men like to solve problems, and when I need him to solve it or help I will let him know, but if I just want to vent,I tell him up front it helps our communications. I admit it is new to me looking at my past relationships where I thought the man should know what I am thinking.

Anyway, Thomas you are still in my thoughts...