I have been thinking of my past these last couple of days. The reason is on Saturday night, my husband and I met up with my old friend John. What I mean by Old, John was the boy next door ( really down the street) from me growing up. We dated when I was 15 and he was 17, and we had been friends for years. We had a falling out about 6 years ago, over another friend and John's wife.

When he dropped me as a friend, I was devastated, and clung to our mutual friend, because it seemed we were kicked off the island together. So, my husband had heard me talk about John but had never met him. So, we met up at the "Harp and Dragon' Irish pub in Norwich,CT along with John's wife Sarah. My husband and John got along wonderful, they are both smart men, and get each others humor. Sarah and I were fine, we basically kept it very superficial nothing really deep, and the mention of Tom ( mutual friend) or as Tom now refers to himself the anti-Christ was not allowed. Over the last 6 years, Tom and myself have become very close, and alot of my stories involve him,so there were points of silence.

As, we left the bar, my husband's take on the situation was different, he thinks that maybe Tom and I acted as if, we voted John off the island since we had a secret from him, and when he found out he was hurt and lashed out. Is that the case? Isn't it funny how you look at situations differently? Every story has 2 sides this one has about 4 different sides. The problem is I love both of these men, we have all been friends for so long, and have gone through so much together, not really being together stinks.

Did we vote John off or the other way around? He was hurt because I kept quiet, but for me, I did not want to hurt him, and when Sarah called me for advise, I told her if she was done doing whatever with Tom, and really regretted it, keep quiet so John does not get hurt, instead she turned it around as if Tom and I wanted each of them and that is why we worked together. Another lie of hers, was the night of her bachlorette party, Tom and I went to dinner at "La Vie and Rose" in New London, (CLOSED NOW) and got a bit toasty on wine and after dinner drinks, then we went to Mohegan Sun to see "Sugardaddy" play, had more drinks pretty much we were DRUNK. We danced,laughed and gambled. Well, I guess Sarah and her girlfriends were there, and went home and told John and his guy friends that we saw them and ran away because it was uncomfortable for us. We never saw them, get over yourself we were never that uncomfortable seeing you.

According to John, they saw Tom in Ocean State Job Lot and he ran away, was weaving in/out of the aisle to avoid them. I talked to Tom, he never saw them he weaves in/out of the aisles looking for deals. So who do I believe? I am trying to stay out of it, but I don't want to give up either friendship. So, now I am retro spectating on my life and people that have come and gone through it. When you reach a certain age, you wonder was it my fault these friendships didn't last, or was it mutual because they were superficial and the real ones have stayed on?

Think for a minute, your grammar school, are you friends with anyone from that time? Jr. High, High School, College, your first job out of college? Etc? Who has always been there? Who can you call today if you were truly in trouble and get help from?
I have connected with old friends through the years and we see each other once or twice, but then nothing. I believe it is mutual.