My Alumni (high school) has been in the papers alot this week. There was a scare of someone calling and threatening bombs or otherwise chaos. What has the world come to you would think right?

Well, I graduated in 1982, and in 1981 all the African Americans had to get off the campus because of race riots, it was scary, and I remember my friend Lisa Brown could not find a ride, so I left school and brought her home. Why all the animosity you might ask? We never did find out what happened and why people were threatening each other. I have been out of school for over 25 years, now and I still think of NFA, sometimes with resentfulness, other times proud to have gone to such an interesting high school.

My high school years, were not picture perfect as you see in the Teen Movies, mine was more like the "Heathers" except no one died, the clicks were vicious,by that I mean the gossip, the doing stuff to your lockers. I am thankful we did not have the technology they have today, look at the girl who killed herself because what was on the Internet?

On an episode of "Ghost Whisperer" last night, it was about a Slam Book on the Internet from the kids of High School. Taking pictures with your picture phone at inopportune times, think back would you have wanted anyone to take your pictures at some of those high school parties? Your head in the toilet? You making out with a boy ( who was not your boyfriend) or visa verse if you are a guy? Crying? Yelling etc? All of that today would be posted on line, where the world, your parents and peers can see all of your faults?

I bring this up because at the age of "43" I still hold on to my insecurities, my husband was trying to help me with my selling skills and how I present myself to my new employers, and I took it as criticism, not because he meant it that way, but because I always believe I am a phony and people will realize I just do my job on the seat of my pants not from actual ability.

I know that is not true, I know weddings, mostly from learning along the way, what is right, wrong and compeletly crazy, I always read every new magazine to keep up with trends, and I take notes on everything to understand what the Bride or Groom is not saying but they actually want for their wedding. But after I have a few glasses of wine, I get so self destructive and think the worse about myself. I started a fight with my husband and when he went outside to have a ciggarette, I was stamping around the house, then fell down the stairs on my back.

So, we have decided no more drinking, we are going to work through my issues. I have decided to actually start reading books on Selling to improve my skills, and my business so I will not always feel like 2nd best behind my husband or anyone for that matter. It goes back to high school, do we ever outgrow that feeling of being less than we are?