I am reading "Time Magazine" January 28, 2008 issue. I do not usually read Time but an article caught my eye, called " The Science of Romance", I read the first part of why people mate, basically it is all to have children. I do not believe this, even though my husband and I would love to have children, it does not seem in the cards for us, we have come to terms with it.

I have now moved on to the next Article, Why we Flirt? I side note to this: When I was in High School ( Many years ago) I was named Class Flirt out of a graduating class of 620 kids. I admit, I enjoy flirting, and it seems now that I am married, I love it even more, especially knowing nothing will every come from it, but every woman likes to know men find you attractive. My husband is also a big flirt, and when we go out, we enjoy our time apart at parties. We even look for each other and across a room give each other a look, like I know what you are doing and when we get home it will be more fun. It is like foreplay for us.

Do you still flirt? Do you do it well? Is it verbal or physical? Do you tilt your head, do you stand in a certain way, or even just stare at the other person's eyes? It really is and art form, some people are better at it than others. For me it has always come pretty easy. I feel out of my league when we are at a party of 20 years old and their skills seem more calculated then mine every were. There is Dark Side to Flirting:
When it can become harassment, stalking or worse. You have to be very careful, because you may be just having fun and the other person will take it way too far. Now a days, there is on-line flirting, email and text make it easier for people to become someone else then who they are in person. It can become dangerous.

Flirting can be fun, just watch out for what the other person is actually perceiving from your actions.

I loved this article and believe it the older I become. Please read and enjoy.

This is an article for "O" magazine written by Anne Lamott:

I was at a wedding Saturday with a lot of women in their 20s and 30s in sexy dresses, their youthful skin aglow. And even though I was 20 or 30 years older, a little worse for wear, a little tired and overwhelmed by the loud music, I was smiling. I smiled with a secret Cheshire-cat smile of pleasure and relief in being older --- 49 and changing, which even I would have to admit is no longer extremely late youth. But I would not give you back a year of the life I've lived.



Age has given me what I was looking for my entire life --- it gave me "me."

It provided the time and experience and failures and triumphs and

friends who helped me step into the shape that had been waiting for me all my life.

I fit into me now --- mostly. I have an organic life finally ---

not the one people imagined for me or tried to get me to have or the life someone else might celebrate as a successful one --- I have the life I dreamed of.



I have become the woman I hardly dared imagine I could be.

There are parts I don't love --- until a few years ago, I had no

idea that you could get cellulite on your stomach; but I not only get

along with me most of the time now, I am militantly and maternally on my own side. Left to my own devices, would I trade this for firm thighs, fewer wrinkles, a better memory? On some days, that's why it's such a blessing I'm not left to my own devices. Because the truth is I have amazing friends and a deep faith in God to whom I can turn.



I'd give up all this for a flatter belly? Are you crazy? I still

have terrible moments when I despair about my body. But they are just moments. I used to have years when I believed I would be more beautiful if I jiggled less --- if all parts of my body stopped moving when I did. But I believe two things now that I didn't at 30. When we get to heaven, we will discover that the appearance of our butts and skin was 127th on the list of what mattered on this earth. And I know the truth that I am not going to live forever, and this has set me free.



Eleven years ago when my friend, Pammy, was dying at the age of

37, we went shopping at Macy's. She was in a wheelchair, with a wig and three weeks to live. I tried on a short dress and came out to model it for Pammy. I asked if she thought it made me look big in the thighs, and she said so kindly, "Annie, you just don't have that kind of time." I live by this story.



I am thrilled for every gray hair and achy muscle, because of all

the friends who didn't make it --- who died too young of breast cancer or AIDS.

And much of this stuff I used to worry about has subsided ---

what other people think of me and of how I am living my life. I give these things the big shrug. It's a huge relief! I live by the truth that NO is a complete sentence. I have grown up enough to develop radical acceptance.



On the day I die, I want to have had dessert. So this informs how

I'll live now. I have survived so much loss, as all of us have by our 40th - my parents, dear friends, my pets. Rubble is the ground on which our deepest friendships are built. If you haven't already, you will lose someone you can't live without, and your heart will be badly broken; and the bad news is that you never completely get over the loss of a beloved person. But this is also the good news. They live forever, in your broken heart and that doesn't seal back up. And you come through. It's like having a leg that never heals perfectly --- that still hurts when the weather is cold, but you learn to dance with the limp. You dance to the absurdities of life; you dance to the minuet of old friendships.



Younger women worry that their memories will begin to go. And you know what? They will. Menopause has not increased my focus and retention as much as I'd been hoping, but a lot is better off missed. A lot is better not gotten around to. I know many of the women at the wedding fear getting older, and I wish I could gather them together again and give them my word of honor that every one of my friends loves being older --- loves being in her 40s, 50s, 60s, 70s.



Look, my feet hurt some morning, and my body is less forgiving

when I exercise more than I'm used to; but I love my life more and me more. And, like that old saying goes, it's not that I think less of myself, but that I think of myself less often; and that feels like heaven to me.

It is amazing how many young actors have died as their careers were taking off, Heath Ledger is just another in a line of the others before him.

• James Dean, 24, died Sept., 30, 1955, after an automobile crash on the highway near Paso Robles, Calif. He only made (3) Films, "Rebel without a Cause", "Giant" and "East of Eden".


• Sharon Tate, 26, was murdered Aug. 9, 1969, by followers of Charles Manson in Los Angeles.


• Freddie Prinze, 22, died Jan. 29, 1977, after shooting himself in Los Angeles. Can you believe it? His son has gotten further in his career and lived longer than his father.


• Jon-Erik Hexum, 26, died Oct. 18, 1984, after accidentally shooting himself with a
prop gun in Los Angeles.


• Rebecca Schaeffer, 21, was murdered July 18, 1989, by stalker Robert John Bardo in Los Angeles.


• Brandon Lee, 28, died March 31, 1993, after accidentally being shot on the set of “The Crow” in Wilmington, N.C.


• River Phoenix, 23, died Oct. 31, 1993, from a drug overdose outside of a night club in Los Angeles.


• David Strickland, 29, died March 22, 1999, after hanging himself in a hotel room in Las Vegas.


• Jonathan Brandis, 27, died Nov. 12, 2003, from injuries he suffered after hanging himself in Los Angeles.


• Brad Renfro, 25, died Jan. 15, 2008, the day after reportedly spending the previous evening drinking with friends

Why is Suicide so prevalent in their deaths? Is it Hollywood's fault? Is it the pedestal we put actors on that makes them realize they are only human? Is it the Media's fault for all the attention bad or good performances, instead of realizing they are only young adults trying to make it in a tough business. I find it quite sad. My heart goes out to the family and friends of Heath Ledger and Brad Renfro.

I am sick yet again!! We have lived in Maine since October 2007, and I have already been sick no less than 3x, what is that? This time, I am stuffed up, my voice sounds like Kathleen Turner with a Cold, which would not be bad, if when you start my voice didn't already sound like Demi Moore. Yes, I have a deep throaty voice to begin with and add a cold, with sinus issues and it is as if I should be on a #900 number.

I always get colds every year, but this year, everytime I am sick it knocks me out for atleast 2 or 3 days. I have a huge weekend coming up, going to Boston to do the Bayside Bridal Show, just what potential brides want to deal with a sick wedding planner. I left work at 1pm on Tuesday and called out sick yesterday, so this morning I had messages to return, contracts to settle etc.. I hate being sick! I really dislike having to come back after being out and seeing work pile up, why is it no one else takes responibility when someone it out sick? I always check my co-workers phone messages, and respond to them even if it is to say, "So and so is out sick and will not being getting back to you until..." Usually, I can help them, but if I can't they seem to appreciate a heads up of why they are not being responded back to right away. Let's face it everyone wants and instant response. Especially, in this day and age of email.

So, hopefully I will be better for the weekend in Boston. My husband is excited because he gets to go to his favorite store at the Prudential Shops, Levenger on Saturday. Its my treat since he is driving me down there, and helping me set up my booth.

Today, on the Mid-Coast of Maine it is about 30' outside, sunny and windy. I had a 9am appointment this morning at work to look at the Resort for her wedding. I told the bride, my work schedule is 10am-4pm on Saturday's but I will come in at 9am to show her around, due to her schedule. I called her yesterday and left a Voice Message and email to confirm. I did not hear from her, so I came to work at 8:15am just in case she arrived early. She No-Showed, to me it is rude. I understand things happen, but please email or leave a message that unfortunately, you can not make it, especially when I am making a special trip for you.

I know this must sound petty, but I have been in this business along time, and believe me, I do not get mad or upset if you cancel, but when I am going to be late or have to cancel I always call, because I have been stood up on dates, and to be honest it feels the same. I have worked on Holidays and even a Sunday for the business because I realize sometimes schedules are hard to coordinate and a bride is more stressed than most business people. All I ask is for common courtesy.

One July 4, I did a wedding tasting, for a bride who swore to me, I will book,I just want to try to food before we commit. I told her we only allow 2 people for the tasting, she brought 4 including her and the groom it was 6 people. The appointment was for 2 hours, they were there 4 hours, then when I called her back a few days later, they decided against us, so basically she got a free lunch for 6 people.

She ended up calling me back a few weeks later, livid that I had informed all the other wedding facilities of what she was pulling, so everyone else was willing to do the tasting at $45.00 a head, and if she booked it would be taken off her final bill. She thought I had no right, you better watch out you never know who talks. Every since then, all tastings are after you book the event, and if you want it beforehand it is a charge and if you book then yes, we will have that money go toward your event. I know the wedding magazines say, Tastings are standard, no they are not, it is a courtesy, one place I worked refused them, I was to tell them eat in the restaurant, pay for it, same food, same chef. That is wedding planners trying to get something for nothing for their clients.

Personally, I believe tastings are important, and I liked them because it gives me one on one with my bride and grooms. Some facilities do a large tasting with everyone at once, I think it is a great idea, but personally I like the one on one I get with my clients.

People have to realize, especially wedding planners, a Hotel/Resort is a business, and weddings are big business, and we can not give everything away in order to stay a float. I am not saying we will nickle and dime you, but realize everything has a price. I have worked for major hotels and small resorts and boutique properties, each one has a different philosophy on weddings. So, before any bride commits to a facility realize what you can live with and absolutely can not live with because believe it or not, a contract from a hotel is actually binding. Another, false hood, oh don't worry about it, we will go after you and make you stick to what you signed for, so please read all contracts carefully.

I am so appalled, upset and scared for our young people of today. When I was in school in 1978, I got into a fight with another girl over a boy, she thought I was trying to steal from her, basically, she hit me and I went down end of fight. Now, that same girl is married to my cousin and we laugh about this so many years later.

We did not have the Internet, and we definately, did not make everything known to the whole school. Believe me, I love using the Internet, but have to think is the Myspace, Facebook doing any good for these children? They are basically, still children in a world that wants to make them grow up faster than they really should and deal with the "real world".

In business, it can get nasty, but I do not see my competitors in business putting insults on the internet to bring me down. So, my question is what can we do to help the young people of today, control their anger instead of lashing out in such a public way? What ever happened to keep it private?


This article is from the New London Day, today Friday January 18, 2008
"Two teenage girls who had swapped insults on the MySpace social network Web site traded punches in a hallway at Robert E. Fitch Senior High School in Groton last week, resulting in three suspensions, one arrest and a possible civil lawsuit.

Gary Trahan, father of a 16-year-old sophomore who was involved, said he is consulting an attorney because he considers his daughter the victim of a criminal assault rather than a participant in a fight.

Trahan's daughter, who was suspended for 10 days following the Jan. 9 incident, said she was attacked from behind after she turned to walk away from her 15-year-old assailant. School administrators later reduced the suspension to seven days.

Town police charged the 15-year-old freshman with third-degree assault and she, too, was suspended for 10 days. She is scheduled to appear in juvenile court today. Her parents could not be reached to comment Thursday.

A third girl received a five-day suspension for instigating the encounter.

Fitch Principal Robert Bacewicz said the school took the appropriate action.

“We do have a zero-tolerance policy,” said Bacewicz. “We suspend students who get involved in this type of incident. We want to deliver a message that things of this nature are not going to be tolerated at this school.”

But Trahan said the school has victimized his daughter twice and, with final exams coming up, the suspension would hurt her academically. He was at the school Thursday morning, trying to persuade administrators to allow her back to school immediately and to remove the suspension from her permanent record, which he said was unblemished.

“They feel that both of the girls could have gone to the administration (to report a problem), so they're not going to change anything,” Trahan said. “They're just rubber-stamping stuff.”

Trahan said he plans to meet with a lawyer today and that he would be in touch with the Board of Education. He asked that The Day not identify his daughter.

The 16-year-old, interviewed along with her father at their home in the Eastern Point section of Groton Wednesday, still had marks around her left eye a week after the incident. The father, who was called to the school after the fight, said he rushed her to the emergency room when a school nurse told him she might have a detached retina.

Trahan said he was relieved her injuries were not serious. “Lucky the cuts on her face did not need to be sutured, and she will not have any scars,” he said.

The teen said she does not know the 15-year-old freshman well but had exchanged words with her on MySpace and over the phone. She said the girl attacked her from behind and started punching her, even after she told the girl it was not worth getting suspended.

“Can't we let it go?” she said she asked the freshman as they stood face to face against a wall with others watching. She said she turned to walk away when the girl pushed her on the back, spun her around, grabbed her by the hair and “pummeled me.” She said she grabbed the girl's hair and tried to punch her.

“She's pulling me back,” she said. “I hit her two to three times in the side of the head.”

A teacher broke up the fight, she said, and she was taken to the nurse's office. In the bathroom, she saw her swollen face and cuts caused by the other girl's rings and started screaming and swearing. A short time later, the assistant principal told her she was being suspended for 10 days for getting into a fight and not stopping when ordered to do so by a teacher.

“I started crying,” she said.

The teen said she provided a statement to School Resource Officer Kelly Crandall, who took pictures of her injuries. Crandall could not be reached to comment Thursday.

MySpace and similar sites that are wildly popular with young people have spawned several new types of crime. Sexual predators have used the sites to prey on teens, and teens have used the sites as a forum to post video footage of staged street fights.

In Missouri last year, a 13-year-old girl committed suicide after being spurned online by a boy who identified himself as 16-year-old Josh. It was later revealed that “Josh” was the creation of a neighbor whose daughter was fighting with the 13-year-old.

Trahan, a systems analyst, said he does not allow his daughter to use MySpace and similar sites on their home computer.

“I explained to her, if you wouldn't put it on the front page of The Day, you wouldn't put it on the Internet,” he said.

He said he was surprised when a school administrator told him MySpace comments had fueled the Jan. 9 fight, but said his daughter quickly admitted she had gone onto the site at a friend's house and created a profile. After the incident, the teen printed out copies of the MySpace correspondence to show her father.

Egged on by a girl they knew, the freshman and sophomore, who rode the same bus but did not know each other well, had exchanged a series of insults — many of them containing profanities referring to female sexuality.

According to Trahan's daughter, the third girl had fired the opening volley, calling her a “skeet” because she was exchanging cell phone text messages with a senior boy over the recent winter vacation. The 15-year-old, who rides the same bus, chimed in on MySpace and the insults flew.

Bacewicz, the principal, said the school has seen a few incidents involving Web sites like MySpace.

“On the computer, they say a lot of things not facing each other, and when they do come face to face, unfortunately it's at school,” he said. “We try to counsel the kids, when stuff starts happening on the computer, say something to us before something happens. That way we can give them counseling and suggestions.”

Trahan's daughter said administrators told her after the school incident that she should have told them she was having a problem with the freshman. Like other teens, she does not want to be labeled a snitch.

“You don't really tell on someone unless you absolutely have to,” she said. She said the other girl told her earlier that she was going to “beat her” and that she would “dig a hole and bury her,” but that she did not think it would turn physical.

She said staying home has been difficult, especially since all of her friends are at school. She picked up a stack of assignments to complete at home, but she must make up any tests she missed on her first day back. She said she has trouble concentrating on so much schoolwork in an unstructured environment because she suffers from an attention deficit disorder.

My Alumni (high school) has been in the papers alot this week. There was a scare of someone calling and threatening bombs or otherwise chaos. What has the world come to you would think right?

Well, I graduated in 1982, and in 1981 all the African Americans had to get off the campus because of race riots, it was scary, and I remember my friend Lisa Brown could not find a ride, so I left school and brought her home. Why all the animosity you might ask? We never did find out what happened and why people were threatening each other. I have been out of school for over 25 years, now and I still think of NFA, sometimes with resentfulness, other times proud to have gone to such an interesting high school.

My high school years, were not picture perfect as you see in the Teen Movies, mine was more like the "Heathers" except no one died, the clicks were vicious,by that I mean the gossip, the doing stuff to your lockers. I am thankful we did not have the technology they have today, look at the girl who killed herself because what was on the Internet?

On an episode of "Ghost Whisperer" last night, it was about a Slam Book on the Internet from the kids of High School. Taking pictures with your picture phone at inopportune times, think back would you have wanted anyone to take your pictures at some of those high school parties? Your head in the toilet? You making out with a boy ( who was not your boyfriend) or visa verse if you are a guy? Crying? Yelling etc? All of that today would be posted on line, where the world, your parents and peers can see all of your faults?

I bring this up because at the age of "43" I still hold on to my insecurities, my husband was trying to help me with my selling skills and how I present myself to my new employers, and I took it as criticism, not because he meant it that way, but because I always believe I am a phony and people will realize I just do my job on the seat of my pants not from actual ability.

I know that is not true, I know weddings, mostly from learning along the way, what is right, wrong and compeletly crazy, I always read every new magazine to keep up with trends, and I take notes on everything to understand what the Bride or Groom is not saying but they actually want for their wedding. But after I have a few glasses of wine, I get so self destructive and think the worse about myself. I started a fight with my husband and when he went outside to have a ciggarette, I was stamping around the house, then fell down the stairs on my back.

So, we have decided no more drinking, we are going to work through my issues. I have decided to actually start reading books on Selling to improve my skills, and my business so I will not always feel like 2nd best behind my husband or anyone for that matter. It goes back to high school, do we ever outgrow that feeling of being less than we are?

Hello, it has been a while since I have written, and for that I am sorry. Work has been so busy, this is the time of year when brides have just gotten engaged and now they are booking their weddings.

My phone and Emails have been going crazy for the last two weeks, in between I got sick and was out one day, then I fell down the stairs in my house and was out another day for that, plus I did the wedding show in Portland Maine, last weekend. BUSY!! Sometimes, when people say they are too busy to respond, I have to wonder are they?

Today, has been a tough day, I have been negotiating with a Mother of the Bride (MOB) whose daughter fell in love with our property over the weekend. Mom wants the best deal which I completely understand but people have to realize this is a business for us, and even though we want the business, it has to be profitable for each person. No matter, which property I have been working on, there are always a give and take situations. I had to get my General Manager involved in this one, even though he agreed with me, sometimes people just need to hear it from someone above the sales person.

So, now I am starting to read "Little Red Book of Selling" by Jeffrey Gitomer. The reason is this, I have been doing this for 15 years, and even though I always keep up with the latest wedding trends, I may get a bit lazy in my approach to clients and need a refresher every now and then. These books are out there for that extra help or just to remind a sales person not to skip any of the steps. This book, I have had Directors and General Manager's who in the past have talked about this peticular book and my husband believes in this book.

Sometimes I get overwhelmed by my own self-doubt, even though I know I am good at my job working with the brides and making their day special, every now and then you get a client who shakes you to your core. Does anyone else every feel that way?