Every year at this time I do some reflections and look inside myself to see what if anything I regret. This year, after everything one of my biggest regrets is losing a good friend. When I was in High School, there was a group of us, Tom, John, Dacia and myself who over the years kept in touch. Dacia had moved to Idaho after graduation for school and Tom traveled around the US and then ended up in Panama City, Fl for the next 20 years.

John married his high school sweetheart and moved to Canterbury, CT and I moved up to the Hartford area, went to London for a year and basically just lived. Every New Years we would come home and spend it together. Sometimes at the most boring parties but it was tradition.

Then in 1998, John's marriage broke up, and my relationship had ended, we started hanging out together. Not as a couple just good friends. He dated alot of women especially Donna (Beautiful) she hated me, but our friendship endured. Then Tom Moved back home 2003/4 not sure, and again we all started hanging out. Then John met Sarah and Glenn came out more so it was the 5 of us every weekend, we were at someone's house, or out on the boat in the summer, down at the bar playing pool listening to music.

Then it all fell apart, Sarah made a pass at Tom, and Tom was obsessed with Sarah. I was caught in the middle. Instead of going to John, I let it play out. Then Sarah being the B**** that she is turned John around and basically blamed Tom and I for wanting to break them up and wanting them for ourselves. So not the case. I have not spokend to John since he got married to Sarah July 4, 2004. We were not included in the festivities. I got married in March 2005, I always send them Christmas Cards, and John's birthday is Dec. 16 always a card, and an invitation to my wedding. NOPE never heard from them.

It still hurts all these years later, a 20+ year relationship and now nothing. His first wife hated me too, but she had reason I was John's ex-girlfriend before her, I was 15 he was 17 when we dated. A few months of wonderful dating but then he met Deb and I was history. Our Friendship was better for it, and we were better friends then anything else.

So, this Holiday season I will again make an effort but do not figure I will ever talk to John again, but I want him to know he will always be in my heart.