It is foggy this morning, from my hotel window I can not even see the water. When I walked outside today there was a wonderful sweet smell, I think it was the flowers around the property, along with the rain and the grass. I never realized how much I would miss season's change, the 2 years we spent in North Carolina, I believe the coldest it got was 40' an some rain. It really is only 2 seasons there, Summer and Spring. No real winter and unless you are in the mountains no real autumn. I am sure I am romanticizing New England, and forgetting things about North Carolina.

The best thing about North Carolina was the two years after I married my husband for us to get to know each other so much better with no real outside influences. My family who I love so much will butt in, in a moments notice. They mean well but sometimes it can be a bit overwhelming, so I think our first two years of marriage it was best not to be close to either family. Now, on the other hand, I am happy, excited to be back in the fold of my family. We have just had another loss, my sister-in-law's mother passed away last night of Cancer.

She was in such pain in the last two years, it really is better for her, but I know my sister-in-law is so devastated, she was very close to her mother an her two little girls have just lost their grandmother. I will be traveling down to CT for the Funeral an to help my brother out for Monday. I feel ( not realistically) that lately, I have been surrounded by death. I still think of Thomas everyday, and know he would be so happy I am back in New England, where knowing him, he would say I belong. Sometimes I feel if it is way too late for me here and starting another new job, new location. Just a stupid question, why does someone death make us think of everything we should of done in our lives? Is it because, Death is so final and life way too short or am I just trying to bring everything into order because I am hurt?